Off to a Pretty Good Start
by kurosora1984
Summary: Falling in love starts with tripping over something. It can hurt, but be comforted: your face-plant was epic, and we all enjoyed watching it. In this story, Axel falls first, then flops around for a while, trying to get Roxas to trip over him.  AkuRoku
1. Step Out Into Thin Air

**Author's Note: **JALS is on hold for a couple weeks, guys. I think Axel and Roxas got pissed that I was paying attention to other people. XD Anyway, in an effort to keep bringin ya some Sunday reading material, expect to see a few chapters of this. ;D _ Just a few,_ mind you. This will be a shortfic.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day! Go tell your mom you love her and give her a hug. She deserves it. :) And after that, have some AkuRoku...and a hug from me. *HUG* I LUV Y'ALL. 8D**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1 ~ Step Out Into Thin Air<br>**

_52…27…8…_

Numbers ran through his head. Counting, counting. _Fifty-two days since a day off._ It had been a Thursday. _Twenty-seven nights since getting at least six hours of sleep at once._ Six and a half. And seven the night before that. Less than that…for 27 nights in a row since. _Eight…eight…eight of these…blue drinks._ Maybe. Probably. He thought he'd counted six drinks after choosing the blue stuff as the easiest to swallow, and then two more since this tall guy started buying them for him.

_52…27…8…six foot two. _He was guessing. _If I'm five-seven…five-eight in shoes…he'd be a little over six feet. Six-two. Probably._ It was hard to judge from the barstool though.

_8…6-2…4-15…It was today. _

Today was April 15. Today was the infamous tax day. Roxas didn't like accounting or tax preparation, but he was pretty good at it, and contract ghostwriting barely paid the bills. Christmas generally shot his finances to hell, but fortunately people started needing to file their taxes shortly after, and picking up extra work doing that had helped pay off Christmas for the past five years. _5…216._

_3…14…49…135…216._ Year to year, his client count had expanded at an astronomical rate. He hadn't counted on word of mouth…or Facebook, maybe. He hadn't counted on 216 people wanting him to prepare their taxes this year, the majority of them waiting until the past month to come to him about it. He'd just taken what life threw at him, same as always. _52…27…2._ Two writing jobs on the side at the same time. _12…or maybe 13._ Visits to the hospital to see his grandmother; she was sick. She was getting out next week – better now, thank God – but her illness had been badly-timed. _22 days before 4-15…_

And now… _4-15…and 8. _Eight drinks in him, April 15, taxes done, writing done, grandmother okay for now, and he should be sleeping, _right now_, Roxas should be _in bed_, but he was _this close_ to bug-eyed insanity and he needed a _drink_, never mind that he didn't really drink, not since college. He was wound up too tight, fraying at the edges, ready to snap, and he'd been looking at numbers rather than human beings for…for…_52…27…52…27…six foot two._

"Six foot two" had appeared at twenty past eleven with a few lines that didn't register, a tone of voice that _did_. His face might be attractive, might not be, Roxas couldn't be quite sure from only looking through his peripheral vision…but his hands were big, with neat, trimmed fingernails and slightly-large knuckles, and _those_ Roxas knew very well already.

_Two years, five months…seven…seventeen days._ Since he'd started thinking about trying a guy sometime. _Two years, five months, seventeen days._ It was a long time. _2, 5, 17._ Since the last person he'd dated had said her farewells. _2, 5, 17_ – It was a long time to be alone.

"Hey," a purring voice finally broke into his thoughts as one of those big hands slid his empty glass away, "I think you've had enough of these. You're mumbling to yourself, you know? I wouldn't want you to pass out on me later…"

Warm breath caressing his ear…_2, 5, 17_…Roxas inclined his head slightly, listening, staring ahead and not looking at the man, at _six foot two_ who he was thinking might be just perfect for his _there's always a first time_.

Because Roxas didn't want it to be _2, 5, 18. Not eighteen. Seventeen_ sounded like a good stopping place. _Six-two_ sounded like a good starting place. _Eight_ sounded like a good stopping place…

"Later?"

"At my place."

"…Where's that?"

"Just two blocks away, actually. Convenient."

…_Two_ sounded like a good starting place.

Roxas addressed the bar. "I was just thinking of getting some air…"

A chuckle threaded through the purring voice of six-two. "Come on then. Let's go for a little walk."

He followed six-two out of the bar and they turned down the street. "I'm Axel, by the way."

Roxas counted cracks in the sidewalk, _one, two, three, four…_ "Yeah, okay." Hands in his pockets. Not touching the other guy.

A pause, then a chuckle. "And uh…you are?"

_Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven…_ "Roxas."

"Kay. Nice." _Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen…_ "Not too chatty are ya, Roxas?"

He let his silence answer the question. They reached a street – crossing it interrupted his count of sidewalk cracks. At the same time, Roxas caught motion from the edge of his peripheral vision – a big hand moving as if to touch him. He shifted out of reach. The hand dropped.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, not touching.

Six-two – Axel – lived on the fourth floor, apartment number 436. Roxas glanced around the place as he entered, counting 14 framed pictures scattered around the room, one couch, two chairs, one ottoman-thingy. Six-two told him to have a seat. _One two one, one two one…_ Roxas stared at the choices, paralyzed. Six-two returned with a glass of water and cocked his head to the side. Then he handed Roxas the glass with a chuckle, and a big hand spread warmly between Roxas' shoulder blades and guided him to the couch with a gentle push-then-pull, and Roxas was sitting beside six-two.

"Drink up, Roxas. Don't wanna killer hangover in the morning, do ya?"

Before Roxas could answer, drink, or continue to silently stare at the water, his field of vision was abruptly blocked by a lot of red, big-knuckled fingers lifted his chin a bit, and there were lips touching his own in a wet, slow press. _Warm_.

_Six-two. One_.

Then it was over, and he was blinking in surprise at…_oh God damn_, a ridiculously good-looking face. His heart skipped a beat, _one two, one-one two, one two, _and the guy added again, with a wink, "Drink up."

Automatically, Roxas obeyed, swallowing water to distract himself from six-two and his crazy green eyes and his sharp features and his bizarre, how-had-he-missed-that hair, and his _stupidly_ magnetic lips. _2, 5, 17…no, not seventeen. Nineteen._ Since his last kiss it was nineteen. _2, 5, 19, and now…_

Six-two-Axel leaned over in the pause while Roxas counted, and he did it again. Longer this time.

_Two_.

When he pulled back, Roxas took three gulps of water at once…and ran out. _Then_ he noticed the big hand cupping his hip, rubbing gently, and he glanced down to see the toned arm attached to that hand – reaching across his body, brushing against him, _close_.

Six-two-Axel kissed him in the spot where his jaw met his ear and took the water glass away.

_Three._

_What is he…oh. Oh yeah._ Roxas remembered. He had come here for this…or else he'd been very, very misleading. He wasn't sure which. Six-two-Axel kissed his neck.

_Four_.

"Roxas…" Warm breath brushing his neck, murmuring words, _purring_ again. "…you always like this with a few drinks in you? Kinda the opposite effect from what I'd been hoping…"

"Hoping?" Lips on lips again, soft and quick. _Five._

A smirk. "Well, I don't usually buy drinks for guys just because they obviously wanna get shitfaced. I'm not _that_ generous. And you looked like you needed to unwind. Getting drunk might help a little, but there are other ways to release a little…" _Kiss_. "…tension." _Six._

_That's right. I came here for this. That's right…2, 5, 17._ A hand caressed his face, pulling him around to face six-two-Axel, and _kiss, kiss_ again – two more, one quick, and then a change in angle and slower, pushing in past his lips, licking between them.

"You…y-you…"_ Seven…e-eight._

"Me? Axel. Remember? _Axel_." Another kiss, tongue delving deeper this time, the taste of beer invading him along with the man who kissed him with closed eyes and pulled back and did it again, moving faster, parting and reconnecting. And…_pressing_.

_N-nine…or…_ Was that one, or should each break be counted? _Nine, ten, eleven…twelve? Did I…miss one? Oh wait, thirteen, fourteen…but did I miss one back there or not…? _Then a few more while he was trying to remember…and Roxas had lost count. _Somewhere around twenty. Roughly…damn._

A break for air, finally. "You…"

"_Axel._"

"A-Axel…" Roxas swallowed. _His eyes are so bright_. "Do you always k-kiss people this much when you bring them home?"

Another smirk. _He's so hot…_ "Hey. I _like_ kissing. It's fun, feels nice, and your cheeks are an adorable shade of pink right now. Makes your eyes stand out. It's cute. I think I could do this for a while." Another sudden, deep kiss, like he was proving his point. Axel – all six-two of him – was way inside Roxas' space now, pressing in forcefully and pulling Roxas closer. His kisses – all however-many of them – were _really good,_ too.

_So this is what kissing a man feels like._ Roxas' heart was racing and his breathing was unsteady and his body was…decidedly warm. He'd always sort of hoped it would do something like this to him. _Well, not always… Two years, five…five months…ohhhhh God…_

Only thing was, he wasn't really used to being this passive. Girls always made him make the first move…but then again, he was a little out of his comfort zone here, and unsure what to do. _Like I'm gonna let __**him**__ know that._ "S-so…" He swallowed, still tasting Axel's beer. "Is that all you brought me here for? C-cause if all I'm gonna get from you is _kissing_, I should get back to the b-bar and find someone who won't waste my time."

Roxas tried to say it bravely. He clenched his hands into fists to try to hide how madly they were shaking. Maybe Axel wouldn't notice…

A deep chuckle from the other man…and a nip to Roxas' bottom lip. "That's more like it, baby." Then he was being kissed again, full and hard, and Roxas had no idea how many kisses this made but he stopped wondering about it as big hands went under his shirt and straight up his chest, and it was totally different from a girl touching him like that. Soft little girl hands against his chest always felt so tender, sweetly clinging…like _protect me_, like _needing_. And that had been nice enough…_two years…some months…however-long ago_… But now Axel's hands were touching him, and Axel's hands were different. This touch was forward, insistent, pleasuring, confident, possessive…like _I'll make you feel good,_ and a little like _I'll make you __**mine**__._

It was new, all new, totally new, take-his-breath-away new and unexpected, and Roxas wasn't even done processing the hands before his shirt was gone and it was Axel's mouth and _tongue_ moving over his body now, and the hands had stroked downward and were rubbing over his crotch and that was when Roxas noticed that somewhere between the kissing and the disappearance of his shirt – oops, and Axel's too, _when did that happen?_ – he'd gotten as hard as a virgin with his first look at a naked girl.

Or boy, as the case may be. It'd been a girl for Roxas, though. _Back then…_

With a sharp, naughty grin, Axel's teeth closed over the zipper pull on Roxas' jeans and…dragged it down. He felt the little unzipping vibrations trace down his penis and he nearly freaked out. He didn't know this six foot two strange guy at all and he didn't know much about gay sex, but it wasn't hard to figure that look and that gesture out, even so. And – though it might seem like a pathetically delayed realization – Roxas suddenly understood what he was doing. _Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit…_ His hands were shaking uncontrollably now – he was going to have sex with a man he didn't know. _Shit…should I at least ask if he has any…diseases? Oh shit, why hasn't he asked __**me**__ that? Is it because he's…he's sick and it doesn't matter to him? _Axel was plucking at the waistband of Roxas' boxers, time was running out, and, oddly, even the sudden paranoia of strangers and their STDs wasn't doing a damn thing to counteract the arousal burning through his body, fed by alcohol – _eight – _and too much stress to give a shit anymore – _52 and 27._

Big hands wrapped around his penis…cock…_d-dick?_ _What do gay guys call their members?_ Roxas had watched a few – well, gay porn videos…and those guys always, always said "dick." But then, didn't everyone in porn say "dick"? He couldn't remem-_Oh dear God! _ Axel squeezed him and stroked hard and then his tongue was playing over the head of Roxas'…whatever-gay-men-called-it.

He grabbed.

He didn't notice the little crinkle in Axel's forehead, the sharp green eyes observing… Roxas wasn't aware of his trembling hands clutching red hair, but Axel noticed. Roxas wasn't even aware he was biting his lip, let alone that fear and panic and arousal were painfully clear in his face…but Axel noticed. Green eyes narrowed as a big thumb rubbed over the head of Roxas' cock – which is what Axel would have called it, if asked – and the stranger watched carefully for a minute as the young man on his couch panted and moaned and looked scared enough to cry.

It was really, _really _cute.

"Hey," he started, using his other hand to tug one of Roxas' out of his hair and squeeze it, getting the guy's attention. "Hey Roxas…this might be a funny question but…you ever done this before?"

The question made him freeze. Was he being obvious? Awkward? Doing something stupid? _Oh shit…_ "I'm…I'm not a virgin." He wasn't pouting, either. That was called "sullen" – _not_ pouting.

Green eyes rolled and Axel smirked. "Right, sure, okay, but have you ever had sex with a _man_ before is what I was asking. You ever take it in the ass before? Cause baby, I'm not gonna lie, getting inside you is about all I can think about right now." Roxas just stared at the guy, wide-eyed. Axel seemed to take it as a silent confirmation and sighed, but he asked again just to be sure. "But I'm gonna have to revise the plan if this is your first time, so seriously – have you ever had sex with a man before?"

Roxas was absolutely, agonizingly torn. _What's he mean? Is he gonna like, stop and send me home if I say I haven't? But if I say I have, is he gonna assume stuff and end up…hurting me?_ _Shit… _"I uh…you…you don't have to r-revise that plan…"

But Axel sighed again and let go of him with a wry smile. "Too late. Already revised." He stood and pulled on Roxas' hand. "Let's go, cutie."

"W-wait! I'm fine! It's fine, d-don't make me leave!" _2, 5, 18? 18, 19, 20, 21, how much longer? I don't care, I don't want even one more day of that!_

A pause, and then a harder yank that dragged Roxas suddenly to his feet…and pulled him against the much taller – _How tall again?_ – man's chest. Axel smirked. "Who said anything about leaving? I sure as hell didn't. We're just heading to the bedroom to take care of this properly. Wouldn't wanna show you a bad time when you're new to this, would I?"

Roxas blinked and managed a feeble, "Oh…" Then he let Axel drag him by the hand to the bedroom, thinking to himself, _Six foot whatever…Axel…Axel might be a really good place to start, actually._ Maybe he could trust this guy to make the first time…not so scary.

Planted on Axel's bed – and gently stripped of his pants – Roxas watched wide-eyed as his soon-to-be-one-night-stand started pulling things out of drawers. "All right, now, here in man-sex world, we use condoms." Axel held up a box and gave Roxas a _"paying attention?" _look. "I hope you used them with girls anyway…" He trailed off, eyebrows raised, and Roxas nodded blankly. Axel seemed satisfied and continued. "Good good. Well, we aren't worried about babies here, obviously, but we do need to be just as careful as straight folks about keeping clean, even more so, maybe. So. Condoms." He set the box down and picked up a bottle. "Also, lube. You ever had a girl let you do the back door?"

Roxas flushed slightly and shook his head. The girls he'd dated – _three – _had all shared but one opinion about that – _Absolutely disgusting no way._ He had never quite understood it, but he'd respected their wishes.

Axel continued. "Right, well, the back door isn't made for going _in_, see. Not that you can't – you can, and if you do it right, it feels pretty awesome, especially once you get used to it. It's a little weird at first. But it makes a world of difference to have lube and prepare right, so we keep this handy." He set the bottle beside the condoms. Then those big hands started casually undoing the front of Axel's jeans…and taking them off. Roxas swallowed, eyes wide and heart racing. Axel's…he was just going to say _penis_, he just was, damn it, Roxas had a right to call it what he liked. Anyway, Axel's penis was half-hard and…not too shabby. _Will that really fit…?_ Fear and arousal made him shiver as he stared.

The lecture continued, but the tone took a decidedly salacious turn. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on fucking you tonight. I _was_, but not anymore. But since I'm getting to see all of you – and it's quite a sight, I should add," Axel smirked as he ran his eyes over Roxas' body and Roxas promptly flushed, "…it's only fair you get to see as much of me." There was a touch of arrogance in his last words…like Axel thought Roxas should consider himself lucky to get an eyeful of Axel. …Which Roxas sort of did, actually. _God he's sexy._

"So, you wanna know what's gonna happen next, or do you want me to surprise you?" Axel smiled in a rather friendly way and sat down on the bed next to Roxas, who wasn't sure how to deal with the odd mix of the illicit and the matter-of-fact.

"Um…I'm not that big a fan of surprises actually…" Which was true. He wasn't sure he really wanted to hear whatever Axel was gonna say, but being surprised by it instead…

"Okay, well, I was planning on giving you oral and fingering you a bit in the process, so you can get used to how it feels. Then once I make you come, we're done for the night and you can just crash here."

…_Yeah._ _Definitely didn't want to hear that_. Not like _that _anyway. Roxas thought he might be dying of embarrassment. If he wasn't still pretty drunk, he'd probably have slapped the guy out of shock…and then he wouldn't have gotten laid, so screw that and huzzah for alcohol!

"What uh, what about you?" A shy glance down.

A big, shit-eating grin. "Oh no worries, I'll get myself off too. You don't need to do anything this time, kay? Just keep looking cute and sexy as hell…" Axel was in his space again before Roxas could blink, and then his lips were getting nipped at teasingly. "Oh and kissing. Did I forget to mention that? I'm gonna kiss you some more too, kay?"

Roxas opened his mouth to agree to all this, but Axel didn't wait – just shoved his mouth onto Roxas' and pressed his body down into the bed and tongued him half out of his mind.

He didn't notice at what point during the kissing Axel grabbed a condom and the lube. But he must have, because he took them with him when he moved down Roxas' body, and when that hot, wet mouth enveloped Roxas' penis, Axel never had to pull off after that to find something he needed or otherwise interrupt the most sensational oral sex Roxas had ever experienced. If Roxas had been paying attention – if he'd had the attention to spare – he would have been impressed that Axel could keep bobbing his head steadily and sucking hard while tearing open a condom and slipping his fingers into it and then covering the latex with plenty of lube. It was a dexterous trick…but Roxas didn't notice the performance of it, only the results – a slick, gentle probing touch massaging the entrance to his ass.

Moaning, Roxas gasped as he felt the circling pressure. He literally had never noticed how sensitive that particular spot was. His legs trembled and shook involuntarily, and he almost kicked Axel in the head…but managed to direct the spasm outward rather than in. Then, very slowly, one large finger was slipping inside him.

"Nnnh…nn." Roxas squirmed a little, trying to hold still so as not to mess Axel up…trying to _relax_ so as not to make it painful if it didn't have to be. That was something he'd learned from his casual study of gay sex – _relax_. Actually, he'd learned quite a few things – theoretical knowledge only, of course – and Axel's lecture hadn't really been news to him at all, but he hadn't known how to say so. Just like how right now he didn't really know how to say that Axel's finger felt _fucking weird_ and he wasn't sure he liked it at all…so he just grunted a little and kept focusing on relaxing. It was supposed to get good soon. The internet had promised.

Axel slid his finger all the way in, then out again slowly, and a slight coolness and renewed slickness told Roxas he was adding more lube as he went, too. Which definitely helped – honestly, besides the oddness of the new sensation, Roxas was relieved – nothing hurt yet, and Axel's finger moved in and out of him with surprising ease.

Things felt a little different with the addition of the second finger, but it was still okay…not great, but not bad. And then Roxas could only assume that Axel must have found what the internet had promised was the male G-spot – _the prostate_. His head jerked back involuntarily and Roxas moaned, helpless against the throbbing pleasure that hit him. "Ohhhhh, Axel…_woah_…" He felt a rumbling vibration around his penis, then – Axel chuckling. And then the guy started making every slow penetration a dragging stroke toward _that spot_, followed by a circling, rubbing massage before the slow withdrawal again.

Roxas didn't last too long after that started.

Axel managed a third finger, then picked up the pace a bit, and Roxas figured from the _holy fucking oh-my-God _suction Axel was giving him that it was probably okay to come now…because either that's what Axel was trying to do to him, or he was just doing whatever, which would mean Roxas was not cut out for gay sex if "just whatever" was going to send him over the edge this quick. He wouldn't be able to handle much more. …But _ohhhhhhhhhhhh _that probably wasn't the case, he was probably going to really, _oh God, __**really**_ enjoy gay sex, right after he came in Axel's mouth…

_Oops. _Roxas was a gasping, moaning, writhing mess, so he didn't really realize he'd done it until his orgasm passed…and then he almost panicked again because he hadn't meant to do that, it wasn't polite to just assume that was okay…

"Oh my God." One look at Axel banished that worry…and embarrassed Roxas half to death again. Axel had shifted to lie on his side next to Roxas, who could plainly see the man jerking himself off, fast. And then he grinned wickedly when he saw Roxas looking and…_swallowed._

_Okay, _Roxas decided, _scratch that._ Gay sex might be amazing, but if it was going to be this embarrassing too, maybe he wasn't cut out for it after all.

"You know," Axel's deep, rough voice panted, interrupting Roxas' embarrassment, "…you don't have to, but if you _want_, you could give me a hand here." He winked mischievously at Roxas' aghast stare, then, still stroking himself, leaned over and placed a sweet little kiss on Roxas' bare shoulder.

It took Roxas about four seconds of complete mind blank before he acted. Torn between awkward nervousness and his desire to at least let Axel come too, Roxas' mind was made up for him on the spot when he remembered that he wasn't a damn _virgin_, he really wasn't, and while he appreciated Axel doing everything to make his first gay sex nice, he didn't need to act like Roxas couldn't do anything at all. Even if Roxas was unsure about the finer points of pleasuring another man, he knew the _basics_ after all.

So he took a deep breath, rolled toward Axel and pressed his body close, nuzzled his face into the man's neck and started mouthing around, looking for good spots. He pressed skin to skin all down the length of their bodies, stroked his hands down Axel's chest, and then went straight for the gold, basically. Axel let his hand be shoved aside – he pulled Roxas closer with it instead – and his breath hitched heavily as Roxas took over. Telling himself it was just like masturbating…on someone else…Roxas started to give Axel an excellent hand job. However, Axel was apparently already pretty close, and he didn't get to enjoy Roxas' hands for very long before he came into them with a long, throaty groan.

And _that_ sensation was another new one for Roxas to process. It was kinda…hot, actually.

With a lazy stretch of his arm, Axel snagged two tissues and handed them to Roxas, just as Roxas was realizing that he didn't know what to do about Axel's come all over his hands. "Thanks for that, baby. 'Preciate it." Roxas rolled onto his back and just nodded, cleaning up his hands with the tissues. When he was done – and had cast about for a moment before spotting Axel's trash – Roxas finally noticed the lazy, dreamy green gaze staring at his face. He glanced over at Axel, who was lying on his side, just watching him sleepily. Roxas was starting to feel pretty damn sleepy himself, actually.

"What?"

Axel half-grinned. "Feel better?"

Roxas blinked. "Huh?"

"You're not mumbling to yourself anymore."

Roxas considered this for a moment. It took a moment because he was still somewhat drunk, and he didn't remember that he'd been mumbling in the first place. Before he could formulate an answer, however, Axel continued drawling.

"You know…I'd like to kiss you again right now, but I _did_ just suck you off…"

Roxas didn't quite follow. "So?"

Another grin. "Most guys don't care for the taste of their own jizz. Which I'm guessing you've never sampled before."

_Oh._ Roxas swallowed and thought about Axel's kisses. "Well…maybe I should get used to it."

Green eyes widened as Axel laughed out loud. Then, pulling himself closer, the man murmured through his chuckles, "I knew there was a reason I bought you those drinks."

Roxas didn't really catch all that. He was distracted by Axel's tongue in his mouth. He stayed distracted too – Axel, given no discouragement, just went on with the kissing, nice and deep and incredibly sensual. Roxas didn't notice he had both hands fisting in red hair until the man finally drew back a little and was promptly stopped two inches away – smirking.

"I'm guessing you don't mind the taste?"

Considering a moment, Roxas answered, "Can't really taste it. Still mostly just alcohol." Eight drinks were bound to have an aftertaste, and whatever jizz-flavor Axel's mouth had recently acquired, it was still mingled with his beer. And Roxas wasn't trying too hard to pick out whatever taste was supposed to make him not want Axel to kiss him anymore.

Actually, he couldn't quite miss something a little…_weird_…but he wasn't about to say anything to let it stand in his way. He didn't want the kissing to stop yet.

He might not have a choice, though, because the tiredness that had been welling up since just after his orgasm was reaching the point of overwhelming exhaustion right now. All those nights of so little sleep – _How many again? Egh…a lot._ – and all those drinks – _…eight, right? _– were hitting him hard and putting an end to the sex and the kissing. _Damn it._

Roxas didn't notice when Axel draped a blanket over them both – he just curled up under it automatically, pulling it up and tucking it under his chin. Then he pretty much passed out.

Axel grinned sleepily, watching him, and then lay down close by, tugging the blanket a bit to try to take some of it back from the boy he'd picked up at a bar, taken home and bedded…and who apparently was going to prove to be the cutest blanket hog Axel had ever slept with.

~o~


	2. Don't Back Down

**Author's Note:** Itemized author's note, LOL. XD

1) For all those who freaked over the numbers in the last chapter - LOL no, that's not going to be typical of the fic. That's just Roxas after six weeks of no sleep, endless tax forms, and a lot of strong drink. He's feeling much better now. ;)

2) For those who haven't noticed, review reply links have been broken for over a week. I've been using PM replies to get around it (which sucks, but it's better than nothing, and who KNOWS when this is getting fixed?) but some of y'all don't have PMs enabled, so I'm a bit stuck. :P Turn on PMs please? Just for now? :)

3) Also, since ffnet fucks up (and dA censors me), I'm pleased to announce the launch of The Yaoi Shelf! Mostly it has my own fanficiton on there right now, but I'm doing it together with Lauren (theisraelproject107) and some of her fanfic will be up soon. Also, one of these days we'll both hopefully post our original yaoi on there too. :) So check it out! https:/ /sites. google. com/ site/ kurosora1984/ home (without spaces). I'm still working out the kinks on some things, like making sure you can get email updates if you subscribe, but it's up and y'all can check it out if you like. :D

4) Enjoy the chapter, guys! 8D

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 ~<strong> **Don't Back Down**

Roxas woke up very aware of two things – his aching bladder and painfully dry mouth. It was dark, and when he looked toward where his alarm clock should be glowing the time at him, there was nothing there. He blinked and looked again. The faint light coming through the window – which was in the wrong place – showed furnishings that he didn't recognize. His befuddled study of the room finally located a clock on a shelf, and the glowing numbers read _3:46._

Beginning to roll over in bed, Roxas froze when he noticed the warm shape breathing next to him…and memory came back in a rush. _Ohhh…shit._ Eyes bugging and suddenly wide awake, Roxas took a deep breath and sat up slowly. His bladder took the opportunity to remind him why he'd woken up, and Roxas put off freaking out about having sex with a man until he could find the bathroom.

He stumbled around in the dark for a bit – as quietly as possible – before he found it. Then, as soon as his bladder was more comfortable, Roxas remembered his dry mouth and killer thirst. He didn't see a cup in the bathroom, so he had to stumble around some more in the dark apartment until he found the kitchen, then he had to find a glass, and then he proceeded to fill and empty the thing twice without pausing. On the third refill he slowed down and started preparing himself to process what he'd done while drunk and stressed and tired.

He was still kind of drunk, actually. And a little tired – well, it was the middle of the night still – but not _nearly_ as stressed anymore. Though maybe he would be, in a minute…when he finished processing the fact that some complete stranger – a _man_ – had sucked him off…and stuck his fingers in Roxas' ass…and kissed him a lot…and Roxas had jerked him off a little as well…and now he was spending the night in the man's bed with him like they were gay lovers or something…

_Huh._ Roxas was waiting for the shock and horror, but the feeling just…wasn't showing up. He tried again. _A guy bought me drinks at the bar, and I decided that was all the reason I needed to let him get me off. With his mouth and fingers…_ A hot little tingle traced over his skin and Roxas blinked in the dark. _That_ hadn't been the reaction he'd expected. _And I…touched his penis and got him off too…and he came in my hands…_ Gulping water, Roxas wondered why that didn't bother him _at all_. Or why he was currently standing stark naked in a complete stranger's kitchen, helping himself to a drink as casually as if he lived here…and why it didn't feel weird in the slightest.

He sipped his water and considered the problem. _Well…I do still feel a little woozy…_ But that wouldn't be the reason. A little tipsiness made him chatty and sometimes too friendly – when he wasn't exhausted into the bargain – but it didn't utterly overwrite the way he really felt about stuff. _Maybe it's just…I've been thinking about this for a long time. I've been considering trying it for over two years. I've even gotten off to gay porn a few times. Maybe this is just the natural next step._ Maybe. But…a _stranger?_ Roxas could see himself taking a friend or a friendly acquaintance up on an offer to fool around a little…or even dating a guy he knew, if one asked him out. Hooking up with a stranger seemed like less of a "next step" and more of a "sudden leap off the Empire State Building."

He sighed, and sipped. _Maybe it's okay because…this is just a one-night stand. I'm just trying this gay sex thing out…and the guy has been really nice about showing me stuff and not hurting me. _The guy – the redheaded hottie from the bar. _…Axel. That's right._ Roxas remembered his name…his eyes, his hands, his kisses, his burning-hot skin…his incredible mouth and the things his fingers could do inside Roxas' body…

Breathing a little hard, Roxas set the empty glass on the counter and shoved a hand through his hair. _Holy crap. _Not only was he not freaking out, he was standing around getting hot and bothered in a stranger's kitchen in the middle of the night because he had _really _liked the stuff they did before, and he _really_ kind of wished they'd done a little more. _…Or a lot more. Damn. _

So maybe it was one of those reasons, and maybe it was all of the above. The point was, he was okay with this, even if it wasn't the best life choice from an objective point of view…and on the plus side, he really did feel _tons_ better than he had even a few hours ago. And Axel seemed okay – not an axe murderer or anything – so really, why not just go back to bed and get a nice, long night's sleep, and go his way in the morning?

…_Well, for one thing, because I'm awake now._ About two months of habitually getting only a couple hours of sleep at a time had re-worked his internal clock, and since his bladder woke him up at this hour, his body seemed to think the nightly power nap was over and it was time to be awake.

So he was awake. And kind of horny. But that was Axel's fault.

Axel was the one who had done those things, touched him and kissed him and given him just a _taste_ of what two men could do together…and then let things stop before they went all the way. And really, Roxas was a thorough, dedicated individual. When he decided to do something, he did a damn good job of it. He didn't half-ass it in his work – or in anything, really – and he didn't leave things unfinished. So it only made sense, the way he was feeling right now. After all, if he was going to get drunk and have sex with a man for the first time, the _Roxas_ thing to do would be to make sure he went _all the way_ with the man in question. None of this hands-and-mouth-and-call-it-good bullshit.

As long as he was having a one-night stand…he should make the most of it.

Axel could just deal with the interruption in his sleep.

At least…Roxas hoped so. He didn't really know the guy – _at all_ – so when he felt his way back to the bedroom and found the bed and its still-sleeping occupant, it occurred to him that Axel could be the sort of guy who ripped your head off for waking him up in the middle of the night. Even if not…would he be up for more? Or would he just want to sleep? Roxas wished he knew the guy, even a little. _Something_ to help him guess if he was going to get a response here…or end up feeling stupid when Axel turned him down.

Considering his options, Roxas decided his best chance lay in waking Axel up gradually and seducing him in the process. Brow furrowed in thought, he turned to the window and drew back the half-closed blinds. There was a good bit of moonlight, actually – he could see fairly well even in the dark. And that was probably best, because if he turned a light on, it could be too much brightness to wake up to. Light was important though – Roxas needed to see what he was doing, and Axel needed to see…Roxas. _Anything to help get him interested_, Roxas figured, and he knew Axel liked his body.

Then Roxas turned his attention to other obstacles – little things that might kill the mood. _Roxas_, for example, had woken up thirsty as hell and needing to pee. Axel had been drinking too…so Roxas returned silently to the kitchen and filled two glasses with water and brought them back, setting them on the end table…where, yes, the lube and condoms still waited, _Good._ He bit his lip. He couldn't do anything about it if Axel needed to get up and use the restroom…_Crap._ Well, maybe he wouldn't. He hadn't had nearly as much as Roxas had to drink. Probably.

With that, Roxas had taken care of everything he could think of. The next step was…try his hand at seducing. A sleeping person. A sleeping _man_.

Deep breath. _Here goes._

He slid back into bed and scooted up close to the other man, who was sprawled on his back…and warm. Very warm. Roxas hadn't noticed that walking around naked had chilled him slightly…not until he touched Axel and felt the soothing heat of the other man's body. _Oh God that's nice…_ He wiggled closer, pressing as much of his body to Axel's warm skin as he could. He nuzzled his face into Axel's neck and breathed in the delicious, masculine scent of him. _Did I go crazy from the stress or something? I've never been turned on by a man's smell before…and this guy's a complete stranger. _Roxas inhaled deeply, enjoying the blend of cologne and sweat that was nothing like the soft, flowery way girls smelled. _Oh yeah, that's right…still a little drunk, aren't I?_ It was a good thing too. No _way_ he'd have the guts to do this so soon if he was cold sober.

Heart pounding faster, he pressed his lips to Axel's neck…then parted them and did it again, slipping his tongue out to taste the man's skin. His hands roamed over warm skin and toned muscles – soft with sleep, at the moment, but still firmer than any girl's body that Roxas had ever touched. With a soft grunt, Axel stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. Roxas took another deep breath…and moved one hand down between Axel's legs.

_Okay…this is Axel's penis. I'm just…touching a guy's nuts. No big deal…oh yeah, I already touched him before, anyway._ Although that had been when Axel was awake and aroused and asking him for it. When it was consensual…_ Oh crap…I hope he doesn't wake up and think I'm some kind of molesting rapist._ Or well…he could hardly be a rapist with no experience. _Ugh, whatever. I hope he's not pissed._

Hoping that Axel would be less pissed if he was already aroused, Roxas shoved his worries aside and let his hands caress and fondle Axel's privates. The man moaned a little in his sleep…and his penis started to harden. Roxas felt the response and wanted to moan himself – it might be sort of wrong to do, but molesting Axel in his sleep was kind of erotic and kinky. _Heh…didn't expect this, did you? Mr. Gay Sex Instructor…_ Then he let his lips brush the man's ear and moaned softly, "_Ahhh…Axel…_"

He got a responding groan to that, and the sleeping man stirred again, one arm flopping over Roxas and then tightening around him, pulling him closer as Axel rolled onto his side, facing him. Axel's hips began to thrust slightly into his touch and Roxas smirked. _Maybe I'm not so bad at this gay sex thing_, he pondered. _Let's see…_ Roxas tried a trick he kind of enjoyed, himself. He kept stroking the hardening shaft with one hand, but let the other slide lower to gently massage Axel's sac.

It was impressive how fast Axel finished getting erect. Impressive, a little surprising…and hot. Roxas was pretty turned on himself, so he pressed his hips into Axel's and thrust against him carefully. And gasped when he felt the hard heat of the other man's erection touching his own. That was…really new. And really, _really_ arousing.

Axel was grunting more, his brow furrowing as he slowly woke up, and Roxas bit back his nervousness and told himself the guy would love it and threaded his fingers into Axel's hair and kissed the man on the mouth. He watched vacant green eyes blink open as he licked between Axel's lips, and Roxas held his breath. _Please be in the mood, please don't throw me out…_

Blinking in sleepy confusion, Axel grunted and focused on the face inches from his own. His voice was thick with sleep when he croaked out, "Roxas?"

Laying it on as thick as he could, Roxas gazed back through half-lidded eyes and breathed, "Hi." He held still, but stayed close, skin to skin, limbs tangled together – trying to find some nice middle ground where the seduction would seem sexy instead of crude and dirty and perverted in a really bad, I'm-never-picking-this-kid-up-at-a-bar-again way.

Yawning, Axel rubbed his eyes. Voice still rough, he asked, "What time is it?" He didn't seem to be fully aware of everything yet.

"About four," Roxas answered, trying to conceal his nervousness. Axel groaned and his head dropped back onto the pillow. _Crap._ Roxas leaned over quickly, mouthing along the man's jaw. He let his hips shift again in a little thrust against Axel's. _That_ seemed to get the man's attention, suddenly.

"What the…" Even in the dark shadows of the room, Roxas could see realization dawning. Then the man glanced at him, eyebrows raised. "What's going on, huh?"

_Here goes nothing…_ "Wanna fuck me?" He managed not to stammer, somehow.

"_Fuck_ you?" Axel's rough voice sounded a little more awake. "Roxas, I _told_ you, I revised the…"

"…Plan, I know," Roxas interrupted. "But that's not fair, right? I mean, you bought me those drinks…and you didn't get much out of bringing me home…"

A big hand rubbed over his face as Axel sighed. "Well, yeah, but it's fine. Just happened that way. You don't _owe_ me for the drinks, Roxas." His voice sounded painfully raspy.

Leaning back quickly, Roxas grabbed one of the water glasses. "I know. That's not why." He handed the glass to Axel, who looked a little surprised and relieved at the same time and took it, gulping the contents almost as quickly as Roxas had. When he was done, Roxas took the glass away and pressed his body close again. "We didn't go all the way. It's nice of you not to rush me, but what about what _I_ want?" He kissed at Axel's wet lips softly. "What if I want to know…_more?_"

Roxas felt a little rumbling vibration as Axel chuckled, and the sound almost melted him with relief. "All right, fair enough, but what if _I_ want to get a full night's _sleep?_" Axel's tone had become slightly teasing in the dark. His body was definitely still aroused too.

Roxas had his fingers crossed as he flirted back, "Oh right. You wanted to _sleep. That's _why you picked me up at the bar – a human pillow?"

With a purr, Axel leaned over, his big hand cupping Roxas' face as he kissed him deeply. "Touché." Then Roxas barely had time to catch the glint of moonlight in sharp, wide-awake eyes before Axel's hips thrust forward so hard and fast it sent Roxas over onto his back. Axel was on top of him immediately.

"You know," Axel's muffled voice spoke from Roxas' neck, "you were cute at the bar, but you're even more fun now. Is this more like how you usually are? Please say yes." He nipped Roxas' neck lightly and Roxas gasped.

_How I usually am?_ Roxas considered the question – with whatever spare concentration he had. He didn't usually seduce strangers, so maybe he was acting a little different from usual, but overall, he was much closer to normal right now than he probably had been before. _Before…damn_. He wondered why Axel had even bought him those drinks – he must have looked like a zombie. Then again, he didn't think he was looking like anything special right now, either. Just kind of…himself, Roxas, trying to finish what he came here for.

"Um, I guess so…" he began, and then broke off with a gasp as Axel's hips rocked down into his – hard. The slightly contact and rubbing from before suddenly seemed weak. Axel thrust again, again, and Roxas tensed, grabbing at the man's back.

"Awesome. Okay, so this is called _frottage_, which I think is what you were trying to do before, sort of." He set up a hard, fast pace that had Roxas writhing in seconds. "_This_," Axel grunted, "is how we _really_ do it."

"_Shit…shit!_" Roxas panted, desperately trying to cling to self control. Damn it, he was not a virgin, and he was not going to come right away like one!

Mercifully – maybe – Axel suddenly stopped. "Ah, but you wanted to go _all the way,_ didn't you?" There was definitely a smirk in that voice…yup, Roxas could see Axel's face a little by the moonlight – that was totally a smirk. "Let's see, to do that, we need to get busy with the preparation or else it'll hurt. Fair warning," he leaned down again, pecking Roxas' lips, "it'll probably hurt a little bit anyway, being your first time and all. Okay?" Axel's voice sounded much more serious all of a sudden. "I'll try to make it as nice as possible though, promise. Okay?"

Roxas groaned. _Too much talking, not enough fucking._ His penis was _way _too hard for conversation right now. "Said I wanted it, didn't I? I'm not stupid. I know it might hurt, just…hurry up."

Axel paused above him, and Roxas wasn't sure what to expect until the man spoke again, a little breathily. "God damn, I can _not_ see your face well enough right now. Hang on. Cover your eyes." Roxas frowned but quickly did as he was told…just in time for Axel to clap his hands loudly twice, and a little lamp halfway across the room to light up dimly. "Ooh, more water? For me?"

Roxas moved his hands away, carefully letting his eyes adjust, and nodded. Axel grabbed the water and gulped it down, unconcerned about his body on full display. He was kneeling, straddling Roxas' hips, and Roxas…had a hell of a view in the lamplight. _E-eight…hnngh, God, definitely eight…_ _Focus on something else!_ "Um…y-you have a clapper lamp?"

Axel grinned down at him, replacing the glass and grabbing the condoms and lube. "Yup. Too lazy to get up and turn off the light sometimes, you know? Or on, in this case." Then he got busy. And this time, Roxas was more or less left alone, allowing him to watch the procedure as Axel got ready to…well, finger him some more, probably.

_Oh yup, yeah, fingering, that was it_. Only this time, Axel started with two fingers, pushed in as deep as he could right away, and was very soon adding the third. "Just tell me if it hurts, okay? And try to relax."

_Yeah, I got that actually. _Roxas would have huffed if he hadn't been busy panting. He'd already had Axel's fingers inside him earlier, and he'd done _fine_ with the relaxing then! Axel didn't need to tell him _everything. _"R-right…because I t-tensed up a like a _rock_ before, I guess. Geez." The fingers thrusting into him paused, and Roxas glanced down to find Axel glancing up, blinking in bemused surprise. He clarified. "I know about _relaxing_, Axel, I've been on the _internet_, okay? You don't have to explain _everything_."

Green eyes narrowed, a crafty light coming into them. "Fine, fine, just thought it would help a little. And research isn't the same as firsthand experience, you know." Axel went back to the fingering, casually adding a moment later, "So…this is your first time with a man, but you've been looking things up? For how long?"

Shuddering as Axel added another finger – which felt a little uncomfortable, and still pretty weird, but was starting to also feel…interesting – Roxas swallowed and tried to think of an answer. "A couple years, I guess."

"Really? A couple years?" Axel's fingers twisted inside him as he added more lube. "So…why now?"

_You mean, why __**you**__?_ _Oh God, how many fingers is that?_ "I, um…I dunno. Getting tired of dithering…and you…you s-seemed nice. And as long as I'm here…I guess you're likable, and gentle, and you seemed like a decent guy for…for my first."

Normally, Roxas was honest, but not quite _that_ transparent with strangers. Then again, he was tipsy, distracted by arousal, and what did it matter anyway? One-night stands were nice because you could say anything, really, and it didn't matter. You never saw the guy again. You could spill out all your darkest secrets and saddest sob stories like a pathetic weenie and it wouldn't really change anything in your normal life.

At least, that was Roxas' understanding of one-night stands. Not like he'd ever had one before.

For a moment, Axel didn't respond, but Roxas was too distracted by the fingers still slowly stretching him to notice. Just as he finally did notice the silence, Axel answered with a sharp smirk, "Awww, damn, you didn't say it's because I'm hot."

Rolling his eyes, Roxas conceded, "Fine, _and_ because you're hot." Then his breath hitched as Axel slowly pulled his fingers out…and he beamed at Roxas happily while pitching the condom and grabbing a new one.

"Really?" Axel ripped the new condom open and started putting it on, keeping one eye on Roxas the whole time.

Roxas wondered why the guy looked so surprised and pleased by it. Axel obviously already knew he was hot, it shouldn't have been hard to guess that Roxas thought so as well…and what did he care anyway? Roxas' opinion shouldn't be that big a deal. He wasn't anyone special.

Still, one look at Axel in the soft lamplight, glistening with a sheen of sweat all over his toned, perfect body, and his rather large manhood all set to enter Roxas – a terrifying and thrilling idea – he was so turned on, he didn't really have the voice for any of the off-putting things he wanted to say. He barely had the voice to breathe, "Yeah…" Anything more was…too much to bother with right now.

Axel didn't say anything else – just smiled to himself happily, his cheeks turning a little pink. Then, before Roxas could gape at the sight, the other man was getting off him, big hands guiding him to roll over. "On your knees, please," Axel murmured with a little singsong lilt in his voice. "It'll be easier on your back this way." Roxas complied, grabbing a pillow to hug to his chest. _This is it. He's gonna do it. I'm gonna have sex with a man for real._ He took a deep breath as he felt Axel press against him – hard, heavily-lubricated, slipping slowly inside, stretching him open…

"Oh God, Axel, God, _ahhhh!_" In spite of everything he'd read, everything he knew, Roxas wasn't quite ready for the intensity of the feeling. Relaxing was temporarily forgotten as he gasped and barely kept himself from writhing and spasming. His body trembled like a damn leaf.

Pausing just inside him, Axel leaned down slowly. Big hands rubbed Roxas' back soothingly as that deep voice murmured, "Roxas, relax. Breathe out…okay now in, deep breath…good. Just relax…let me in. It's okay…"

The soft words continued, and Axel slowly began to press forward again. Shuddering weakly, Roxas let go, and he felt his body opening slowly. He felt the twinges of discomfort, but nothing terrible until almost the end. The moment it really hurt – making Roxas tense again involuntarily, with a little whimper – Axel stopped. Relieved, Roxas concentrated on the other sensations, like Axel's hands petting over his skin gently…but he couldn't quite ignore the overwhelming feeling of being utterly _filled_ by Axel. It was so strange, so much _more_ than even the man's fingers had been, and he was breathing hard and trying to decide if it was nice or not – he wasn't really sure.

The caressing touch over his back shifted, and Axel's hands slid down to his hips. Roxas was suddenly _very_ distracted when one hand moved further down and wrapped around his penis, stroking him slowly. The other hand slipped over his stomach and chest, holding him, touching…and whatever else he thought of things so far, _that_ felt nice. _Really_ nice. And the pain faded as his arousal built again, overcoming the sensations Roxas wasn't so sure about…and then after what felt like a long time and a lot of touching, Axel murmured gently, "Ready?"

_Ready? Oh yeah…the rest of the sex._ Roxas had no idea if he was ready or not…but his body was hot by now – burning, aching for something, for _more_, anything that would lead to release… "Y-yeah…I'm ready."

Axel moved, and Roxas squirmed as the friction reminded him of the odd intrusion within his body. But the first thing that Axel did was direct a slow, deep thrust to rub right over Roxas' prostate, and _Oh God oh fuck ohhhh!_ Roxas had almost managed to forget how good that place felt. Silly. That wasn't something he wanted to forget at _all_. That was something he wanted to _remember_, and explore and feel a whole lot more of…and Axel could make that happen.

And he _did_. Not every time – to Roxas' relief, because that spot was apparently the fast track to losing his _mind_ – but frequently. Axel knew how to find where it felt best, and he knew how to hit it just often enough to keep Roxas painfully aroused, and that was probably why, before too long, Roxas wasn't worried about the weird, full feeling anymore. It was more of a _good_ full feeling now, and every time Axel thrust in deep it was like a hot pulse of something wonderful thrumming through his body. It didn't make sense that something like this would feel good, but, really…_ Shut the fuck up, brain._

"_Hnnnh_. Axel…m-more…"

"Yeah?" A sweaty chest pressed against his back as Axel hugged him…and added a little depth and power to his next thrust. "Like this, baby?"

Arching his back, Roxas could only gasp at first. "_Ahhh_, fuck yes, like that…!" _More like that, more, more…_

A kiss was placed on his nape. Axel's voice was grinning in his ear, "_That's_ what I've been waiting to hear. Hang on tight now, kiddo, you'll _love _this."

Then…that was about when Roxas later figured he just lost his mind for a while. Axel started thrusting faster, pushing in deeper than before until within a few penetrations his hips were bumping Roxas' ass and all Roxas could really do was bite the damn pillow to muffle his voice. And Axel was pounding into him and Roxas was writhing and blind with lust and need, and it was a damn good thing Axel left his prostate more or less alone or Roxas would have lost it immediately. Even as it was, his _not-a-virgin, not-a-virgin_ self-control was slipping fast. This…_this _just wasn't something he knew how to restrain himself with. It was too new, _too-hot-too-fast-too-__**new**_ for him to maintain his cool or act tough or otherwise keep his guard up around a man he didn't know…

He was going to lose it. He was going to come…_ "Ah-ah-ahhh Axel, Axel please!"_ His voice was raw and hoarse, but with his body on the edge of orgasm like this…Roxas didn't really notice. He was too focused on Axel's hands, Axel's heat, Axel's scent, Axel's moans, Axel inside him, Axel, _Axel…_

"_Ohhhhh God, _me too Roxas, I can't…_nngh!_ Come for me, baby…_mmmmm, come…_" And then he didn't have much choice. Axel squeezed him _good_ and nailed his prostate _hard_ at the same time, snapping Roxas' restraint whether he was ready or not, and Roxas choked in surprise as his orgasm hit him and he came in Axel's hand, frantically clutching at the pillow.

Axel was only seconds after him. Roxas wasn't even finished yet when Axel drove in deep and hard – and teeth closed down on the nape of Roxas' neck with desperate pressure – and then he tensed and stilled. Roxas held his breath – he could feel the pulsing inside him. He could feel Axel coming.

He found the feeling very, very enjoyable.

The next thing he was really aware of was Axel lying beside him, big hands stroking over his sweaty skin…and the absolutely marvelous feeling of afterglow – Roxas' _favorite_. Well, basically. A good orgasm was the _best_ best, but there was nothing else quite like the satisfaction afterward…with someone else to hold. It was absolute perfection if the other person was a lover…but in any case, as long as there _was_ another person, it was a damn sight better than being alone.

Although…maybe he should have expected to be feeling…dirty. Dirty and regretful? Or did that not happen until morning when you had a one-night stand? Hard to be sure…maybe it would hit him later. For now, though, Roxas felt lovely. Warm and satisfied and relaxed – it was almost as if Axel _was_ his lover. He couldn't really explain it…but Roxas sure as hell wasn't going to wish for anything different. Not right now anyway – not until morning.

Fingers raking lazily through his hair drew Roxas' attention. His shifted his head to look over at Axel, who looked about ready to pass out…but he was smiling.

"Well? You've had sex with a man now. What did you think?" He stifled a sudden yawn and Roxas bit back a small laugh.

"I think you need to get back to sleep. You look like you're sleep-talking."

"Mmmmm…an' sleep-fucking, too then…"

Roxas _did_ chuckle at that. "Yeah that too."

"You're the one who woke me up at…fuckin' four a.m." Axel didn't sound all that resentful…at all, really.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"S'okay," Axel mumbled, then freed his hands and clapped them together loudly, sending the room back into darkness. Roxas blinked as his eyes tried to adjust, but he couldn't see anything at first. A yawn, then a sleepy voice reached him from the blackness. "So you didn't answer me. What did you think?"

Roxas hesitated. _How the hell do you sum up something like that?_ Words were…hard to think of at the moment. He was a little sleepy himself. "I think…you were a pretty good pick. If having sex with a man is usually like this…I definitely like it."

He couldn't see Axel's face in the dark – it might be part of why he said that. _Or am I still drunk a little?_ Roxas wasn't sure…he didn't _feel _drunk anymore… Axel was mumbling, half asleep now, "I dunno 'bout _that_. Mean, it's good most th' time, but you were pretty damn amazing…don't get it like _that_ every day. Wish, though…"

Feeling warmth spread across his cheeks, Roxas couldn't help smiling at that. _Well…__**that's**__ nice to hear._ Roxas hadn't been this flattered in…well, a good bit longer than two years. He wasn't sure what to say…but Axel's deep breathing beside him made words unnecessary. The guy was already out cold.

_My fault I guess._ Waking him at four to fuck – Roxas could understand Axel being tired. So he just snuggled down under the blanket and let his own weariness slowly send him back to sleep.

~o~

Contrary to his expectations, Roxas didn't end up feeling guilty or dirty in the morning. Axel was a perfectly amiable fellow, really. He was nice, and friendly, and didn't treat Roxas like a whore or a nuisance, nor did he get disgustingly mushy and clingy. He acted…like a pleasant host with a houseguest, actually. He offered Roxas breakfast and a shower, but Roxas declined – he lived close enough that he might as well just go home for that. He washed his face…and, well, he did accept Axel's offer of coffee…and a Tylenol. He wasn't _too_ hung over, but his head hurt. Roxas stuck around for fifteen minutes or so to sip his coffee and chat about simple things with Axel – what the weather was supposed to be like today, what they each did for a living, what they liked in their coffee. Nothing much.

"Good choice going to Destiny though," Axel commented casually. "I mean, if you're picking a gay bar, it's the nicest one in town. I've been to the others – _lots_ of creeps. And like everyone I know says the guys there are…well, not all that _clean_, you know?" Roxas could guess. He felt himself pale a bit. _God, if I'd gone somewhere else to get smashed…ugh._

"Interesting. Thanks for the warning." It was one he definitely wouldn't forget. _Insider information can be very valuable._

When he was done his coffee, Roxas gathered himself – headache and all – and made sure he wasn't forgetting any clothes or anything, and said goodbye to Axel at the man's front door. It was a mostly-casual goodbye – nothing awkward until the moment at the door when Roxas wasn't sure what to say. _"Thanks?" "See you around?" What do you say to a guy you're not dating, just had sex with, and don't plan to see again, but don't dislike at all? Wait…does he understand that it's like that? He's not thinking…no no. He didn't ask for my number or anything…_

But the moment of tension diffused easily when Axel leaned against the edge of his open door and smiled a little at him and just said, "Good luck, kid."

He was so relieved, he smiled back. "Forget my name already?" Roxas heard himself teasing. Axel snorted, grinning.

"_No._ Good luck, _Roxas._" Axel reached out and lightly tousled Roxas' hair. Roxas allowed the playful gesture with a grin and just nodded, waving slightly as he turned and left.

Eyes forward, looking ahead.

~o~

Roxas didn't look back, so Roxas didn't see Axel lingering in his doorway, watching his guest leave.

Axel turned back into his apartment when his sexy little blond visitor was out of sight and gone. He felt _wonderful_. Getting laid was always nice, but a kid like that…well, Axel really couldn't keep the smile off his face.

No, he hadn't asked for Roxas' number. But the first stop he made upon leaving his apartment that day was the gay bar called Destiny. He made sure that within a few days he'd talked to _all _the bartenders, called in a few favors, owed a few more, paid a few bribes…and got his cell number in every single pocket, secure with the promise that the _minute_ "that cute little blond I took home last night" walked in, the bartender would text him.

Then it was just "sit back and wait" time. And keep his fingers crossed.

~o~


	3. Fancy Meeting You Here

**Author's Note:** The chapter in which Axel trips. ;3 Not that the trip is all that obvious, being that Roxas doesn't know it's happened, but you can read into things and figure out roughly where it happens. Speaking of, this being almost entirely from Roxas' POV, you guys will have to read into things most of the time to figure out what's going on in Axel's head and stuff. There will be snippets from his POV, but not a lot. Hopefully it'll be enough, though, that you can get the idea of how Axel feels about his little blond friend. ;3

PS - the stuff Axel told Roxas about Destiny versus the other bars? That was BS. Axel was making it up. ;D

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 ~ Fancy Meeting You Here<br>**

The following weekend, Roxas felt like getting a drink. He wasn't nearly as stressed, but going out the weekend before had reminded him a little bit of why he used to make time for that – it was nice to get out, see people, have a few drinks…_and, uh, yeah. Just relax._ He wasn't really _planning_ on trying to relax quite the same way he had the weekend before – Roxas wasn't going to turn into a weekend _slut_ just because it made his week about two hundred percent better – but then again, he could have gone to a regular bar. He didn't have to go to Destiny.

So maybe he was just a little bit curious about the world he'd recently been initiated into. Maybe he was wondering what it would be like to flirt a little – now that he was alert enough to notice other people around him. And, well, if things went the right way…_maybe. Just maybe._

And then _maybe_ he'd have a little more experience. For comparison's sake, and stuff. Nothing wrong with finding out just what was out there.

He was halfway through his first drink when a familiar voice beside him made Roxas look around in surprise.

"Fancy meeting you here."

Axel was grinning at him, his eyes and smile and tone and posture all decidedly flirtatious. Roxas blinked, unsure what to do for a moment…then he just decided to take his cue from the other guy. No need to get all awkward about running into someone he'd slept with, right? If Axel wasn't uncomfortable about it, then this must be perfectly normal. So he smiled and shifted to face the other guy and let his tone flirt back a little.

"Yeah…so, do you come here often?"

The slow stretch of Axel's smirk made Roxas suspect his next words before the man leaned in slightly and purred them. "I believe I've _come_ here twice, actually."

Roxas groaned internally. _Figured he'd say that._ However, in the spirit of casual flirting, he answered with an arched eyebrow and, "Huh. Funny…me too."

If Roxas had wanted to, that would have been the place to go from flirting to something less charged…friendly chatting, maybe. _"So, how've you been?"_ …Or something like that. Something you might say to just anyone. Something to put a wall up and put a stop to this particular avenue of possibility. That's what he could have done…if he really wanted to say goodbye to Axel and look around some more.

Instead, Roxas swallowed the butterflies in his stomach and continued with, "I kind of like _coming_ here…I should do it more often." And the way Axel's eyes sparkled at him meant understanding…and things just went from there. Roxas was a little reserved at first, but after his second drink…not so much. By then, there was a lot of teasing touching going on. Roxas didn't know what they were even talking about when Axel mentioned how he wanted to "show him something" back at his place.

Roxas didn't hesitate at all. But then, he was a little drunk already.

The second Axel's front door closed, they were on each other. Wild and intense, gripping and clawing, kissing and grinding without thinking about anything else, just _more, more, harder, unnnnghh God!_

Roxas didn't know anything about the text message Axel had received five minutes before his appearance at the bar, or the frantic rush to comb his hair and brush his teeth and change his shirt and _get to the bar, quick_. He knew nothing about the guy who'd suddenly changed direction halfway to the bar just as Axel was getting there, after catching a green glare that meant certain death if he kept walking toward the young blond.

All he knew was _holy fuck, yes_.

The next morning, he was a little annoyed with himself. After all, _if_ he'd wanted to do _that_ again, he really should have found someone else…or at least looked around a bit longer and _tried harder_, geez. He hadn't meant to sleep with his first man again.

Then again…the guy may have been the same, but the sex…_wasn't_. It was so much hotter and faster than the first time, less talking, less matter-of-fact stuff ruining the mood. It was…_really_ intense. Roxas hadn't really known it could be like that with Axel.

And Axel, happily, was still the same likable guy the next morning. He _did_ kiss Roxas good morning this time, but only once, with only a little tongue, and no clinging…so it was okay. It didn't freak him out or make him worry that Axel was thinking they were lovers or something. And Axel still didn't ask for his phone number. So…it was okay.

He'd slept with the same guy again. Oops. No worries though. Roxas still had plenty of time and opportunity to get around, meet others…see what he thought of this whole being-gay thing before he started thinking about committing to anyone…and, well, telling his friends and family about his change in orientation and introducing his "partner" and dealing with all that shit.

So he left in the morning with barely any headache at all, excellently high spirits…and an _extremely _sore ass. Axel had apologized for that, explaining that it was a frequent, regrettable side effect. Roxas hadn't known his ass could _sting _like that. Axel gave him an unopened tube of topical analgesic cream to take home with him, insisting Roxas accept. It was Axel's fault, he had more anyway, it would save him the trouble of stopping at a drug store on the way home – Roxas gave in and accepted the gift and limped carefully out of Axel's building.

~o~

Axel watched him go, then went back inside and masturbated with his face buried in the pillow Roxas had used. He hadn't fucked like that in…he didn't know if he'd _ever_ fucked like that! _Ohhhhh fucking hell…_ He'd wanted so badly to do it again that morning…just reach over and start touching Roxas, lick up the side of his neck and fill his mind with Roxas' scent and just…lose it again.

But he could tell. He knew. He'd watched friends make this mistake with guys like Roxas – guys who weren't ready. They seem fine, but then you scare them somehow, and that's it – they're _gone_. And Axel didn't want to scare Roxas off. He didn't want to do _anything _that would make the kid run.

So he stopped going to pretty much any bar other than Destiny, and, if he wasn't there, he was watching his cell phone, discreetly checking for messages every five minutes.

~o~

Roxas thought it was funny how he always seemed to run into Axel at Destiny. He started to think – after the fourth or fifth time – that maybe he should try another bar after all. It wasn't that he minded seeing Axel – or fucking Axel either, for that matter, no, not at _all_ – but if he was going to broaden his experiences, he needed to meet _different people_ when he went out, and it seemed like at Destiny he barely got a chance to _speak_ to anyone else before he was turning around to find Axel there, flirting with him…and being so damn easy to talk to, and so _hot_…and he always seemed to end up forgetting to try to get away from him. And then he'd go home with Axel, and have crazy, wonderful sex with him, and wake up in his bed the next morning thinking, _Huh. I really need to stop doing this._

But then, other bars…_ugh_. He didn't want to go to _bad_ places. He didn't want to get hit on by some old creep. Or, goodness…stalked by some psycho who would follow him out of the bar and catch him in an alley and…_ugh, no no no_. Or even if he met someone who seemed decent enough and gave them a shot…but then caught something disgusting from them? The possible disasters seemed endless.

So Roxas kept showing up at Destiny. Anyway, the bartenders were really nice, and they all seemed to recognize him rather quickly. _Being a regular has its perks, I guess._

He really did need to stop going home with Axel though.

~o~

"I need him to be my boyfriend, oh my God." Axel let his head drop into his hands. His brother tutted sympathetically and patted his shoulder.

"It'll work out, just be patient…" Reno offered around a mouthful of food. He was eating lunch with one hand while the other was comforting Axel. Burgers were handy like that.

"No, you don't understand!" Axel burst out, his head snapping up and turning to stare with glazed desperation at the other man at his table. "You don't know what it's like…how incredible he is! This past weekend, we were talking over coffee in the morning – God, the way he wraps his fingers around a coffee mug…unnnh!" Axel shook his head, snapping himself out of the moan. "Anyway, he made this comment about people, and chemistry, and like…like that _bang_ some people have…" Reno was blinking wide blue eyes at him and chewing vigorously. Axel gave up. "Ah, damn, you had to be there! It was the _way he said it_, it was so insightful and well-put and…ugh, he has no _idea_ what he does to me. It was like he was _telling_ me how I felt about him. Fuck."

"Dude," Reno offered around a mouthful, "you're getting to screw him almost every weekend. Why do you need more than that? Just _pretend_ he's your boyfriend whenever you see him or something. It's not like either of you would have time to meet up during the week even if you _were_ dating." It was true. Axel had learned, during one morning-after conversation, that Roxas was at _least_ as busy as he was, if not more so. And Axel's schedule _was_ pretty full. Pyrotechnicians at large theaters with busy performance schedules…didn't get much time off.

Axel sulked. "I could call him though…if we were. If I had his number."

"But you still couldn't _fuck_ him and wait, what?" Reno swallowed a mouthful. "You don't have his number? Why don't you have his _number?_"

Poking a few fries around, Axel frowned. "If I ask for it, he might get scared off…"

"Dude. You get the guy's _number_ as a matter of _routine_. I don't even sleep with a girl unless I have her _number_. Then, if she sucks, it's deleted, but you have to _have_ it first. How can you _not _have his number after all this time?"

Reno was obviously pretty hung up on this issue. Axel wished he'd talked to someone else about Roxas.

~o~

For two weekends, Roxas didn't go to Destiny. He didn't go _anywhere_. His grandmother was back in the hospital. He was taking his laptop and work with him to the hospital and sitting with her most evenings.

_85 over 55_. Roxas frowned a little at the numbers on the monitor. Her blood pressure was low, definitely, but it _was_ slowly improving. Not where the doctor wanted it to be, not yet, but gradually getting there. _12…sometimes 14._ Her breathing was slow, too, but at least her respiratory rate was back in an acceptable range. So was her heart rate, and Roxas listening to the _blip, blip, blip_ of the heart monitor in the quiet hospital room, comforted by its slow, steady regularity.

_850 words left in this article. Then one more with 3,000 words, two 1,000-word reviews for the newspaper, and proofread 35 pages of the nutrition book._ Roxas rubbed his eyebrows wearily. _Taxes are over, but the numbers never leave me alone._ He gazed at his grandmother lying in the hospital bed, trying to remind himself that even if she looked pale and tired, she was out of danger. This was really just a small setback. She was better, she just needed to rest and not overdo it – _Which of course is like telling a fish not to swim_. He smiled fondly. His grandmother was a bustling, busy old lady. He had never known her to _sit still_ for very long.

_I wonder what she'd think…if she knew._ Roxas shook his head at that right away. _Hell no_. Even in the best-case scenario, if Roxas was telling his family that he was deeply in love with some man and committed to him for life – Roxas' family was big on commitment – there was no way his grandmother would be hearing that news. _There are some people you just_…_can't tell certain things to._ And the best-case scenario wasn't a reality right now anyway, so there was no way he was going to tell anyone – least of all his ailing _grandmother_ – that he'd taken to screwing men on the weekends.

_Or, well…man. _Roxas reminded himself he couldn't use the plural until he slept with another guy, and so far there was just the one. _Axel_._ Mr. Six Foot Two Gay Sex Instructor. _Roxas smiled a tiny bit to himself. _Mr. Eight Inches._ Who was also a nice guy in the mornings, and made really good coffee. And who seemed to live at the bar called Destiny. _How many days since I've seen him? Seventeen? Eighteen? This weekend will be…the third, so…_

Roxas shifted his laptop, trying to get comfortable in the hospital chairs. Not like that was going to happen, but still. _Maybe Nami can come sit with Gran this weekend. Or Mom… If I just tell them I have a lot of work to do…_ Roxas cringed. He didn't like to lie. _Okay, well, maybe if I just say I'm really tired and need a break. They'll probably understand._ Maybe they'd ask what he planned to do to relax…but maybe Roxas could be vague about that. _"Oh, I dunno…I might just stay home, go to bed early. Or maybe I'll see if a friend wants to do something."_ "A friend" like Axel. "Do something" like make out, get naked, and screw like rabbits.

Roxas was a few minutes into that fantasy before he remembered that he was looking for _other_ _men_ to expand his horizons and stuff. _Eh, but then again…I can look around more when I have more time. Nothing wrong with doing Axel again. I'm not in the mood for a full-scale search this weekend. Maybe I should just skip the bar entirely, and…oh wait._ Roxas stopped as he suddenly remembered a little logistical problem. _I don't have his number. Huh._

So…Destiny. Maybe. Probably. Though it would be easier to just call Axel and ask if he was free to meet up this weekend… _Crap. Maybe I should get his number next time. _Roxas thought some more about that. _And maybe I should check and see if he'd even be interested in that kind of an arrangement. _ What would that be called, anyway? _"Sex friends?"_ _Dear lord… Sorry Gran._ He could almost hear the tearful laments of "Where did we go wrong? He was such a _good_ boy…"

A different voice echoed in his mind. _"Ohhhhh Roxas…good…it's so good, baby you're amazing…uunnn, yesss…"_ Roxas smirked to himself. The things Axel said during sex sometimes…damn. It was both incredibly flattering and arousing as hell. It was already fantastic how good the sex made _him_ feel. It was something else entirely to know for a _fact_ that he had that much of an effect on Axel, too. _So I'm still "good" – just can't write home about it._

Roxas continued to let himself feel smug for another minute before he sighed. _All the more reason to find a few other people I like, I guess. Spread the love, and all that. Or at least see if other people are as impressed as Axel. _That was a valid argument there – he might not be _good_ so much as just good to _Axel_. Possibly. _Worth checking into. And I'll never know until I try others._

Yawning tiredly, Roxas returned to his laptop. Whether he found some new experiences this weekend or just hooked up with Axel again, he was definitely going to need a break. He was getting tired – not as bad as April, but not great either. _Time for a little fun._

~o~

Friday night at Destiny was pretty crowded. Roxas found a place at the bar and started scanning the crowd. He didn't see Axel right away – but then he never seemed to see Axel, Axel always found _him_ – so he ordered something not too strong, greeting the bartender politely. The guy nodded and smiled and served him, and Roxas forgave him for texting on the job because…well, he was nice. _Though that's not very professional, just the same._ Come to think of it, the bartenders here did that a lot…

"Hey, Cutie. What's a nice boy like you doing in a bar like this?"

The smooth, insinuating voice interrupted Roxas in the middle of a sip at his drink, but he turned around, already rolling his eyes at the cheesy line. Then he stopped and blinked. For a second, he thought Axel had bleached his hair almost-white…but he immediately realized that he was wrong. The man addressing him – with a really bad pick-up line – wasn't Axel at all.

_Oh wow, someone new!_ Roxas was at a loss for words for a moment. He'd really gotten used to seeing Axel when he turned around at Destiny. It was only just dawning on him that maybe he shouldn't have just assumed Axel would be here… After a moment, however, he managed to come up with a weak response. "Hi…and, uh…you are?"

The taller man ran a hand through his silvery hair, flipping it back with a flashy toss. "You haven't heard of me? I'm Setzer." All of a sudden, the guy was leaning into Roxas' space, smirking and murmuring insinuatingly, "I can make all your dreams come true."

That…Roxas had to bite back a laugh at that. _Are you kidding me with that?_ He thought _Axel_ had used some lame lines – in _joking_ though – but this guy made Axel's lines look sophisticated, and even worse…it seemed like he meant what he said. Roxas had to pause before he tried answering, or else his amusement would definitely show.

"Oh yeah? What kind of dreams might those be?" He didn't _think_ the other guy could pick up his skepticism from that. A quick once-over was leaving Roxas with mixed feelings. On the one hand, the guy was young, obviously attractive, definitely fit, and, well…hitting on him. Aggressively. It seemed pretty clear that this was a golden opportunity to try someone else out, and he hadn't even had to look very hard.

On the other hand, the guy's personality was…lacking. And it was getting worse with every minute he kept talking. Setzer had some pretty crude ideas about what Roxas' "dreams" might have been. "We could go in the bathroom…I could bend you over a toilet and nail you with my big, fat dick…" _Ew dude. Again, are you kidding me?_ Apparently not all guys had enough _class_ to at least take their hookup home with them. _Ugh, but I shouldn't judge him too fast…that's not the way to broaden my horizons…_

But before Roxas could really decide to give Setzer a second chance – after making his _real_ wishes clear, for one thing – the guy took things a step further. Out of the blue, before Roxas could even blink, his mouth was being invaded by a pushy kiss…and his crotch was being squeezed. _What the…!_ The guy was molesting him! In public!

And nothing that Roxas could remember in his _life_ had ever felt so repulsive.

He shoved the guy off and slapped him without a second thought.

Shocked, wide-eyed, and clutching his cheek, Setzer stared at him. The fury had just started to flicker in his eyes – "Why you little…!" – and Roxas had just started to shrink back, thinking that he maybe could have found a better way to deal with that…when Setzer was jerked around by the shoulder and _Oh thank God_, there was Axel, six foot two and…furious.

Setzer was on the ground before Roxas had finished being shocked at the deadly rage in those impossibly green eyes. _One punch, knocked out. Wow._ Then Axel was stepping over the guy on the ground, paying no attention whatsoever to the startled crowd, and wrapping an arm around Roxas' shoulders. "Hey you," his smile was tight, as was his voice. "Sorry for decking your date. Um, can I see you outside a second?"

Roxas nodded, allowing himself to be steered toward the door. Axel's anger was…a little unnerving. But also a little awesome. _Like some kind of comic book hero, damn._ And besides… _He's here. He __**is**__ here. He showed up._ Roxas was more relieved than he wanted to admit that he didn't have to hook up with someone new tonight. Even if that was still his goal. _Eventually. But not tonight._ Axel was here. _I hope he wants to fuck…like, once he's cooled off a bit._

When they were outside in the warm summer evening, Axel finally let go. Rubbing at his knuckles absently, he started taking deep breaths, clearly trying to calm down. It was a little awkward, like this. Usually, they started off with flirting, sexual tension, alcohol…all that led very easily into sex at Axel's apartment. But it was hard to start flirting now, and Roxas was a little unsure how to get to Axel's apartment from here. _Not "here" physically, though._ He knew the way, by now.

"Um, hey…that guy wasn't a date. Thanks for doing that actually…I wasn't sure how to get rid of him." He watched Axel cautiously, waiting for a good moment to say something teasing and lighten the mood.

The taller man let out a long sigh and looked at him, shaking his hand out a few times before finally stopping…shuffling a moment…then sticking his hands in his pockets like he wasn't sure what to do with them. "Yeah. I sort of figured." He glanced around, looking a little uncomfortable, then looked back at Roxas, shrugging and grinning a bit wryly. "So…hi."

Roxas felt his face crack in a small grin and a little tension faded out of the air. "Hi," he smiled up at Axel. "I didn't see you in the bar; I thought maybe you weren't there for once."

Green eyes flitted up and down the street quickly. "I wasn't, I just happened to stop in on my way to…uh…" Axel paused, looking at Roxas again as a slow grin started in his eyes. "What, were you…looking for me?"

_Oops. _ The change of tone was a good thing, but giving _that_ information away wasn't his intention. _Cover up…_ "Psh, no, I just thought it was weird because I thought you _lived_ there."

Axel edged closer, eyes sparkling. "Oh, that can't be true…you _know_ where I live, after all. You've been there…especially the bedroom…"

_Perfect._ Roxas smiled whole-heartedly. This was _exactly _what he wanted. "Have I? I don't really remember… What does the bedroom look like again?"

A large finger curled under his chin, tipping his head up as Axel got _very_ close. "If you forgot…I can show you again…"

"Kay." Roxas agreed without even bothering with any more playful banter. Axel beamed at him, licking his lips once – a motion Roxas' eyes followed, fascinated – before stepping back, and turning to lead the way…one arm draped over Roxas' shoulders again.

Maybe when he was feeling more adventurous, Roxas would start trying harder to find others. He'd get around to it. But for right now, this was nice. This familiarity, this knowing what to expect…to a certain degree. Axel _did_ seem to have a very good sexual imagination, and Roxas was never sure what they were going to do. But the important thing was, he knew it would feel great, it wouldn't hurt, and Axel would be a nice guy before, during, and after. It was good to have that reassurance. It made his arousal easier to embrace, without worry or the need for caution, for holding himself back.

And anyway, Axel was the _best_ kisser. Roxas was glad when they finally got in the door and Axel could pin him up against a wall and start dissolving Roxas' common sense with a deep, sensual kiss. _Ohhhh yessss. I missed this, God, yes…_ Roxas clutched at the taller man's ribs – he'd discovered a few times ago that Axel seemed to have a thing for that. If he wasn't hard already, he _always _was as soon as Roxas started grabbing at his torso and pulling him closer like that. _Like…__**this**_.

Two big hands buried themselves in his hair, pulling just enough to sting a little, but not in a bad way. Axel's breath was hot on Roxas' lips as he whispered, "Ohh baby…better take it easy. It's been a while, and I don't wanna hurt you." A slow kiss, hands releasing his hair to run through it gently. "Better slow down a bit…we've got all night."

And, as impatient as Roxas had been, the idea of _all night_ made it easy to slow down. He moved his hands, rubbing them gradually up Axel's stomach and chest. _That_ always made Axel touch his face softly and kiss him with such sweetness – like he did now, even though they were both already fully erect, their hard groins pressed against each other, and _slowing down_ at this point was _agony._ But that's what they did, and Roxas let himself drown in the torturously slow pace as they changed to soft caresses and sweet kisses and just _kept doing that_ until Roxas was shaking with the effort of maintaining self-control.

It was hell and heaven at the same time. It _hurt_. He wanted it to never end.

Finally, Axel took his hand and led him to the bedroom – as if Roxas didn't know the way with his eyes closed – and there he murmured in Roxas' ear, "Look familiar now?"

Smirking, Roxas answered by pushing Axel away – just enough to slide his hands under the man's shirt and peel it off him…with a little cooperation from Axel. Then he gave the taller man an obvious once-over, grinning. "_Now_ we're getting there."

Axel stretched like a lazy cat, leaving his beautiful upper body open to admiration. "Just 'getting there'?" He teased.

_This is __**fun**__,_ Roxas thought, reaching out to let his fingers brush down warm skin. "Yeah, there's something…_missing_…from the picture…" Latching onto Axel's belt, he tugged the man closer again, hands exploring the hard shape of Axel's erection under denim. Axel tensed, then grunted as Roxas squeezed.

"Well, feel free to adjust the view to your liking," Axel breathed, draping his arms over Roxas' shoulders and watching with bright eyes as Roxas continued to touch him.

Skin prickling with an excited tingle, Roxas glanced up a moment. "Kay…thanks," he answered just as softly…then unbuckled, unbuttoned, and unzipped Axel's pants for him. Carefully slipping the jeans down, Roxas watched the other man as he stripped him. The corded muscles of Axel's arms stood out sharply, but Axel didn't move or touch him for now. He just stepped out of his jeans and let Roxas wrap his hands around his naked erection, breathing hard but not seeming concerned with the fact that he was stark naked and Roxas was still fully dressed. _Roxas_ was aware of it though, and it gave him an erotic feeling of power…and Axel's hot member in his hands reminded him of something he'd been thinking of trying for over a month now…

"Oh, _now_ I remember," Roxas murmured innocently. "I've definitely seen this before." Then, without another word, he went down on his knees in front of Axel and licked the tip of him. He could feel Axel's pulse throbbing thorough his penis as he began to stroke slowly, licking again, again, and then starting to trail sucking kisses up the length. _Hmm, not so bad…_ Roxas could hear Axel moan deeply as he moved further down, then licked up the whole thing in one long stroke before parting his lips over the head and sliding Axel into his mouth.

"Sh-shit!" Axel gasped, and Roxas tried not to smile, focusing on sucking instead. _Not bad at all,_ he decided. When he'd first slept with Axel, he'd been a little blown away by the idea of sucking on another man's penis, and it had taken him a while to come to terms with the concept. It helped that Axel did it to him a _lot_, and it felt _incredible._ It was almost funny to look back on his initial shock, now. Sucking on Axel like this, hearing the man trying not-quite-successfully to control himself – it was turning him on even more. He loved knowing he could get Axel hot like this.

A new taste hit Roxas' senses as soon as he started gently massaging Axel's sac – _Oh. That must be…precome._ He wasn't sure what to think of the flavor. It was…weird. But Axel didn't give him the chance to taste it for very long. An insistent tug in his hair pulled Roxas off.

"Unngh, baby, I can't take any more of that. You gotta stop or I'm gonna come in your mouth…"

Roxas looked up, licking his lips. "So it was good?" He meant to sound sexy, but he was just so _pleased_ with himself…

Axel chuckled breathlessly at the happy expression on that cute face. "Are you kidding? I almost can't believe you haven't done that before. You're magical with your mouth, Roxas." He winked.

Roxas let himself be drawn along toward the bed, and he tried and _almost_ succeeded in not staring at Axel's rock-hard erection, or his tight, squeezable ass… "Maybe I _have _done it before then," he answered, only half paying attention. _I wonder if he ever lets anyone take __**him**__?_

He didn't catch Axel's hesitation. "I thought I was the first guy you'd slept with." Axel was pulling out the supplies and setting them on the table in their nice, reachable spots. "You been practicing on me in my sleep, Roxas?" The teasing tone was subtly tense.

Frowning a little, Roxas realized that Axel was assuming something he probably shouldn't – that Roxas hadn't had sex with any other men yet. _So what if it's true. You shouldn't just assume that. __**We**__ aren't exclusive or anything._ Trying to sound casual, Roxas answered vaguely, "Well, yeah, you were the _first_…" He left the implication hanging. He really didn't want to _lie_…but he didn't want Axel getting any ideas either.

Axel went very, very still. "Is that why you haven't been to Destiny lately?"

_What makes him so sure I haven't been? Just because __**he**__ didn't see me…_ Roxas couldn't really answer though, without either lying or giving away the fact that he was bluffing. So he just shrugged. Then he realized Axel wasn't looking at him, so he had to come up with _something_… "Well, you know. I don't think it'd be cheating if either of us saw other people…"

He was looking at the carpet and didn't see Axel's tense shoulders slump just a little at that. He looked up only when Axel moved, turning to sit on the bed and look at him. All the fun and sparkle had gone out of those green eyes. Roxas frowned. _Oh shit, this doesn't look good. _ "What?" He asked warily.

Axel shook his head at once. "No, nothing. You're right. It's not." When Roxas didn't say anything, unconvinced, Axel looked up and reached for him, pulling his hand until Roxas was standing in front of Axel. "I'm sorry, my bad, it's nothing, baby." His hand slid up Roxas' back and started rubbing slow circles over the nape of Roxas' neck, pulling him down as Axel leaned up to meet him. "Forget I said anything, okay? Let's have some fun…"

Roxas allowed himself to be kissed. He still wasn't sure that this was okay. Axel's kiss felt…different somehow. The mood wasn't quite clear. Something was off between them, and it wasn't fun. But Roxas didn't want to promise anything. He still wasn't ready… _Right?_

But then, Axel's kiss was so soft and delicious, and he could feel the tension leaking out of both their bodies, slowly, gradually, until Roxas was sinking onto his knees, straddling Axel's lap, feeling a little too warm and loose to keep standing…and a little too hot and hard to keep his pants on, damn.

Fortunately, Axel's hands had started moving, and Roxas submitted to having his shirt stripped off, hoping the rest of his clothing would soon follow. Axel didn't leave him hanging either. Those big hands got his pants open without even fumbling – practiced precision at work – and Roxas arched and pushed his hips into the touch as Axel took hold of him and stroked while his lips explored Roxas' neck. He was already forgetting the interruption to the mood when Axel's arms wrapped him up and twisted them both and Roxas landed on his back on the man's bed a moment later.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a teasing grin back on Axel's face. The guy was tugging off his pants – "I'll just steal these, please," – and Roxas couldn't help grinning back. This was the Axel he liked. This was what he wanted to do. And he didn't want to think about the way Axel had looked there for a minute, or the way it had made his chest ache unexpectedly. He wanted to tease, and goof off, and fuck, and be served coffee in the morning. _Nice and simple._

Then Axel pushed his legs up until Roxas was just about bent in half and he…licked his… _Oh my God._ "Oh my God." _Oh my God._ "Are you kidding me?"

Axel dragged his hot, wet tongue between Roxas' legs and over his balls and up the shaft of his penis before he let go with a little suck and smirked. "I'm guessing you've never done _that_, either." Roxas just swallowed, staring at him. He could barely breathe in this position anyway. He didn't have air or brain power for words. Axel licked him there again. "This, my sexy little novice, is called _rimming_. Maybe the internet told you about it." The last words carried a slightly scoffing tone with them…and Axel sucked at the ring of Roxas' entrance and then probed deeper with his tongue.

It broke Roxas' brain that he would do that…and it broke the _pieces_ of Roxas' brain that it _felt like that_. Axel had him writhing in minutes, hovering on the edge of orgasm and crying and whimpering for _more_ or _stop_ or anything, anything, but no more of this torture! He felt faint, lightheaded and dizzy…but that might also have been because he really couldn't get enough air like this.

And then…Axel let him down. Roxas just gasped for a minute, sucking up air and trying to regain control. When he could open his eyes again, he was just in time to catch sight of Axel all prepped to finger him…before the man went ahead and started. Roxas clutched the sheets and arched, trying not to lock up, and Axel teased too-casually, "I thought I'd better not make you come like that. You'd have shot on your own face in that position…which don't get me wrong, that would be hot, but I figured I'd make sure you were okay with that first."

Roxas groaned. "Much appreciated, I'm sure…_hahh_…" He would swear Axel already had three fingers in him, and he was _much_ looser than he'd expected, given those three weeks that had passed since he'd been with Axel. _Oh my God, if he's not inside me in five minutes, I'm going to __**make him**__._ Roxas glanced at the clock. _9:32. So you have until 9:37, Axel, and then…_ He was going to have to figure "and then" out actually.

Axel was aware that rimming a guy who had _basically_ just told him he'd fucked other men in the last two weeks was not a smart move. First of all, it was a form of unprotected sex, and he knew exactly which diseases he'd just put himself at risk for, and he knew _nothing_ about these other men – he didn't even know if Roxas had played it safe with them. Secondly, he'd never rimmed anyone he wasn't in a serious relationship with. It was one of the lines he'd drawn between casual hookups and relationships that actually mattered.

But Roxas didn't know, and Axel frankly didn't care. _Hepatitis, Chlamydia, fuck it._ None of that would hurt like the idea of Roxas in another man's bed.

_9:37._ Roxas bit his lip. Axel was still fingering him, but… _Time's up. _ "Hey." He shifted as Axel glanced up at him, wiggling himself free of the fingers and sitting up.

"Um, something you want, Roxas?" Axel barely had time to ask before he was pushed over onto his back. _There we go_. It took Roxas a second to get a condom on Axel, plus a little extra lube – he'd watched the other man do this a lot, but it was the first time doing it himself. Then Roxas grinned, threw a leg over the man's hips, and settled himself above Axel. They hadn't done it like this yet, and Roxas wasn't going to let Axel teach him _all_ the positions. He'd studied this one in detail on the internet.

Wrapping his fingers around Axel's penis, Roxas positioned himself and gave Axel a hot look. "Take a wild guess." Then he pushed himself carefully _down_.

He was getting better at this. The slight sting as his body stretched was becoming familiar, erotically painful. And Roxas was able to take Axel in without losing his own composure, so he could watch the reaction from the other man as he lay on his back and looked up at Roxas, obviously a little awestruck. "Holy shit…" Axel swallowed a few times. "Better stop there, baby, for now…don't wanna hurt yourself…"

_Don't tell me what to do. _Roxas rammed himself down the last inch, sitting on Axel's hips and choking back a scream. Axel cried out harshly – not a sound Roxas heard too often. _Haha, so there, Mr. Gay Sex Instructor. _"I think…I can handle it…actually," Roxas panted. He hoped he looked confident and sexy as he lifted himself up and began to slowly figure out how to ride Axel – how much to lift himself, what angles to bear down at. _Think "incubus." __**Project**__ "incubus." Seducing, irresistible sex demon, that's me._ He licked his lips and arched his body, drawing Axel's eyes after his hand as he stroked down his own chest…and took hold of his erection. _Okay, that probably looked pretty good. _Checking Axel's expression confirmed it – he was flushed, sweaty, and staring. _Now let's see how fast I can do this…_ Roxas started picking up his pace, building toward a good pounding.

Judging by Axel's voice and expression, he was doing a pretty damn good job.

His suspicion was confirmed when Roxas made Axel come first. Axel was trying to gasp something about _slowing down_, but Roxas wasn't listening, just riding him as hard as he could because _fuck, fuck _it felt good, way better than he'd expected, and his legs were straining to keep moving but he _couldn't_ stop yet…and then Axel cried out through clenched teeth and Roxas recognized the feeling of Axel coming inside him and thrust down once more and held still. Axel always went still when he came. Roxas never did. Roxas soaked up the feeling of Axel's pleasure and concentrated on bringing himself to his own climax…and when it hit him, he kept stroking himself right through it.

When it was over, his legs gave out without warning, and Roxas barely got his arms out to break his fall and keep himself from face-planting into Axel's chest. Then he just stayed there, not caring about the sticky mess he just smushed between their stomachs. He let Axel take care of getting his condom off. Roxas was _done_.

Axel chuckled in his ear, and Roxas listened to the soft, pleasant sound. "Damn Roxas…not bad. Though we're a little ahead of schedule, finishing up _now_."

_Oh yeah. "All night." _ Roxas remembered. But he was sleepy as hell, now. "S'okay. Wake me up in a couple hours and we can go again… 'm gunna pass out now." He rolled off Axel slowly, already feeling the sting in his ass when he shifted. Roxas smirked a tiny bit to himself and grabbed the blanket, curling up with it, the comforting heat of Axel's body radiating against his back.

"If you say so," Axel's deep voice answered softly. He smiled down at Roxas fondly. "Goodnight, Roxas." The blond grunted in response.

Axel reached over for the second blanket he'd taken to keeping in his bed – because Roxas really couldn't be coaxed into sharing when he was out cold – and covered up as well. He wasn't entirely sure Roxas was completely asleep yet, so rather than say any of the things he was thinking or do any of the things he wanted to, Axel silently kissed his own fingertip…and reached out and touched it to the tip of a spike of blond hair. Then he blinked rapidly and bit his lip, cussing himself out in his own head but knowing it wouldn't do him any good at all.

~o~


	4. Out on the Town

**Author's Note:** Don't hate Roxas, y'all, kay? Just wait. ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 ~ Out on the Town<br>**

When Roxas opened his eyes, it was morning. A rather lovely, bright summer morning, actually…and he wasn't hung over or foggy-headed, so it only took a moment of glancing around to realize where he was. And it only took one shift of his lower body to make him crack a little grin, remembering last night. Then he frowned right after that and glanced over at Axel, still asleep next to him. _All night my ass! What happened to waking me up, huh?_ Roxas pouted for a minute, annoyed at Axel for letting him sleep. He'd really kind of been hoping to wake up to Axel molesting him and another round of sex. Preferably in a position that gave Axel the more energetic role, because _holy crap_ Roxas' legs were tired and sore. As he rolled over in bed, he wasn't sure which was worse – his aching ass or his sore thighs. He had a feeling the thighs would be worse, actually…as soon as he tried to climb some stairs.

In spite of the soreness, however, Roxas was feeling a little…frisky. Blame the extra uninterrupted sleep, the lack of a hangover for once…for whatever reason, watching Axel sleep made him feel unusually mischievous and naughty. With a wicked glint in his eyes, he scooted closer, running his hands over Axel's warm skin – not the stomach though. _Ew. We need to wash up._

First, however, Roxas was going to take advantage of Axel in his sleep. By groping his ass.

_God damn._ Axel's ass felt twice as nice as it looked. It was firm, and squeezble, and… "Unnnh?" Roxas glanced up to see Axel's eyes cracking open and staring at him blearily for a moment before starting to rapidly clear. "Roxas? Mornin'…uh, heh heh…somethin' I can do for you?"

Just to be daring, Roxas left his hand right where it was and squeezed again. "You didn't wake me up last night, you lazy bastard," he teased.

Axel arched a small, red eyebrow. "Sorry 'bout that…but uh, why am I getting a butt massage as punishment?"

Roxas pinched lightly and changed the subject. "Hey…you ever bottom?"

Green eyes blinked at him. "Do _I_ bottom? Why?"

"Well, it's just you seem to have a hell of an ass. I was wondering if anyone gets to enjoy it. Seems like kind of a waste, if not." He winked. As tired as his legs were, Roxas was thinking it would be pretty awesome if Axel was open to the idea of letting him do that. Just…sometime.

Surprisingly, Axel looked a little sheepish. His cheeks colored slightly and he sat up. Roxas let go, but stayed lying down. Sore ass, after all. "Um, well…I _do_, but only with certain people."

_Mmm, interesting_. "Certain people? Such as?" Roxas prompted, eyelids a little lowered.

Axel glanced at him, looking wry. "Well, it's one of those things I only do with people I'm dating. Like, serious relationships."

Roxas' face fell slightly. "Oh." _Damn._ "I didn't know there was, like, a separate list of activities or whatever."

"Um, well, not _exactly,_" Axel raked a hand through his hair, straightening it out. "It's just, there are a few things I don't do with people I'm just hooking up with."

"Is that something most, um…you know…"

"Gay guys do?" Axel finished for him with a grin, then shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe not. Far as I'm concerned, it's just my personal choice. I like to keep some things special. For special people." Axel bit his tongue there and didn't add anything else. Maybe Roxas would ask…

"Hm. I see," Roxas offered noncommittally. Then he turned and started getting up. "Can I just borrow a washcloth?" He asked, halfway to the bathroom.

"Sure, here," Axel followed quickly and pulled one out for him.

Roxas took it with a "Thanks, be right out," and shut himself in the bathroom, where he wouldn't have to look at Axel or think about this weird, painful little twinge their conversation had just given him. _It's a good policy. He's smart to do that. I should think of something similar, in case I ever find someone…special. …Oh and I have to get his number before I go. If it's okay…_

Axel put the coffee pot on and threw on some clothes and hoped and hoped Roxas would say something else about it, something to show that he was more comfortable now, less uncertain, maybe even _ready…_

Over coffee, Roxas forced himself to ask the awkward question. "Hey, so…you know what? After all this time…I don't even have your phone number."

He didn't notice Axel slowly taking a deep breath as he smiled and answered casually, "Huh, funny. I guess you don't. Would you like it?"

Roxas glanced away, a little shy but trying to hide it. "Uh, yeah. I mean, if you don't mind…"

"No, no, quite all right," Axel cheerfully answered, jotting the number on a pad of paper which usually served for grocery lists. He handed the slip over. "Well, now you have it. Anything in particular you wanted to do with it?"

Blue eyes rolled at him. "I was thinking of dressing it up and playing 'house' – your number will be 'Mommy' and I'm 'Daddy'." Axel snorted and laughed along with him. Then Roxas cleared his throat. _Here goes…_ "Seriously though, um, I just thought, since you say you _don't_ live at Destiny, it might be good to have a way to reach you. In case you're not there some time."

"Some time when you're _looking_ for me? Like you _weren't_ doing last night?" Axel kept his tone teasing on purpose, but he was…listening.

Rolling his eyes again, Roxas decided maybe he couldn't avoid sort of tacitly admitting that he'd had an eye out for Axel the night before. "Right. I just thought it would be easier if I could call you, see if you're busy in advance. So we could meet up sometimes without waiting to bump into each other."

Axel's reply was just a half-beat late. "Oh sure. Sure that's fine. Call me whenever. And you know where I live…" he glanced around, shrugging.

_Oh thank heaven._ "You're sure that's okay?" Roxas asked. He was really _so_ glad Axel seemed to get it, and that it was okay…maybe now he could focus on finding _new_ people at bars, and just call Axel if he had no luck with that. Or, well, if he didn't have time to try, like last night.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine." Axel grinned at him, and if his grin was a little weak, Roxas was finishing his coffee and didn't notice. Axel stood and took the mug; Roxas followed him to the door. "Anytime you think you might be forgetting what my _bedroom _looks like," he winked, "just give me a call. I'll have you over for a refresher."

Roxas jumped a little as his ass was slapped lightly. He laughed. "Sounds good. See you later, Axel. Thanks." He left with a smile and a wave, Axel standing in the door, as usual. _Well that went really well. Should have figured. He's really cool about all this stuff after all. I guess being experienced helps. _It seemed so very appealing – being accustomed to enjoying oneself with various partners, having a good time with them and then casually going back to their separate lives. Such a nice, simple, stress-free lifestyle. Roxas hoped he could cultivate a similar attitude, with a little practice and experience.

~o~

Axel sat in his kitchen at the table and fingered an empty, still-warm coffee mug. If he stared long enough, he could still see Roxas' fingers wrapped around it in that wonderful way…and none of it mattered, he told himself for the thousandth time, because Roxas just wanted to be fuck buddies.

So Roxas would call. He'd find other guys and sleep with them, and if he felt like it, he'd call Axel – his _backup plan_.

Axel crumpled forward onto the kitchen table and clutched the mug for dear life.

~o~

Two weekends later, Roxas' grandmother was out of the hospital and sworn to stay in bed and rest, so Roxas had some free time. He'd known he would probably be free, and he'd been tempted on Tuesday to call Axel, but then he'd given himself a talking-to. _No. You need to stop putting this off. You want to broaden your experiences with other people. If you don't, you'll never know if you made the right choice. You'll wonder and regret. And as it is, you're just procrastinating this because you've found something safe and comfortable and you're too lazy to push yourself outside your comfort zone again. But you can't keep doing this. And anyway, even if Axel's cool with meeting up sometimes, you can't keep monopolizing his weekends. You're gonna make him sick of you._

So Roxas went out without calling Axel, fully prepared to find a new hookup.

He tried a bar called Twilight, which he'd heard wasn't necessarily just for straight people. Unfortunately, the only people who spoke to or smiled at him were girls, and the few guys he tried furtively smiling at gave him extremely dirty looks or else just got up and walked away. The only exception was a rather pudgy guy who started talking to him at the bar…but Roxas wasn't even sure if that guy was trying to flirt. He was so obviously nervous and awkward, and he kept talking about the most utterly mundane things – like the pros and cons of hiring a landscaping service, for goodness sake – that Roxas eventually gave up trying to figure out if this guy was a possibility and he just left.

_Geez. Like, I might have a little more experience than I did a few months ago, but I can't help a guy like __**that**__ get out of his shell. Axel might be able to…maybe. _ Then he shook that thought away, rather displeased by it.

Roxas debated about trying the gay bar Blue Moon, but one look at the outside of the place and a few of the people going in creeped him out. So he ended up at Destiny again.

First things first – Roxas scanned the bar for Axel. He didn't see him. Then he looked around for Setzer, and was relieved not to see _him_ either. _Okay, good. Now let's see if we can find any attractive, available men._ Roxas settled himself with a drink at the bar.

"I could use a second round, whenever you're finished texting your boyfriend." The slightly sarcastic voice next to him addressed the bartender, who quickly apologized, put his phone away, and served the guy sitting beside Roxas. A quick glance showed the man to be pretty good-looking – not really Roxas' type, but still attractive. Silver hair and aquamarine eyes…_really_ nice arms. _Good lord._

Roxas smiled, swallowed his nervousness, and addressed the guy when the bartender was out of earshot, "They seem to do that a lot here, don't they?"

A glance…maybe a furtive once-over. "Do they? I haven't been here before."

Roxas made an effort to keep the conversation going. "Oh really? Well, it's a nice place. Though I do think the bartenders text too much, but other than that, I like it here."

"You come here often?" The question made Roxas snicker in his head, remembering a certain other time that line had come up…and the exchange it had led to. This time, however, it didn't sound like a line. More of an honest question.

"I have been, recently…" He gave a quick sketch of his recent patronage at Destiny.

And that was how Roxas fell into friendly conversation with a guy who introduced himself as Riku, and who was quiet and reserved, but if his chest and the rest of his body matched his _arms, God, _Roxas thought that would make up for a lot. And he wasn't being a dick or saying anything gross, and though he didn't smile much, he did make eye contact – _lots _of eye contact. Sometimes Roxas wasn't sure if he was even listening anymore…but Riku never stopped staring deep into his eyes. It was kind of hot…in an unnerving sort of way.

When Roxas excused himself to the bathroom for a minute, he wasn't sure yet if things were going anywhere with Riku…but he was interested in trying to find out. He had forgotten about anyone else for the moment, and wasn't even looking around for other pretty faces in the crowd.

He was drying his hands when he turned around and stopped in surprise. "Riku! I didn't know you…" That was as far as he got.

"Shh." A finger was pressed to his lips, but only for a moment. Riku immediately stepped closer, wrapping one of those impressive arms around Roxas' back and pulling him closer, and then his finger moved away and he cupped Roxas' face and Roxas blinked, a little startled by the sudden kiss. Riku's lips were warm and dry and gentle but firm, and after a moment Roxas managed to un-freeze and decide how to respond. _Um…well, might as well see how this goes._

So he angled his head and kissed back. Not too hard or too much, just testing the waters. Riku held him a little tighter, but other than that he didn't advance things much. After a minute, Roxas started to get bored, so he gathered his courage and pushed their mouths open. That seemed to go over okay, and Riku was a bit more interesting to kiss when tongues were involved. It was…different. It wasn't like girls, but it wasn't like Axel either. Roxas tried exploring a little, checking to see if it was a different he liked or not.

After a little while, Roxas was fairly sure he didn't _dislike_ the kissing at all – it felt good, but he wanted _more_ if he was going to really get into it. Without really thinking about what he was doing, his hands clutched at Riku's ribs. It was instinct – this was how he got _more, hotter_. He didn't think about where he'd learned to think like that.

Riku, however, pulled back the moment he did that, surprising Roxas. He flinched and took hold of Roxas' hands. "Sorry…ticklish," he explained in a murmur. Then, before Roxas could apologize, Riku lifted his hands and laid them around his neck and leaned down to kiss him again.

Going along with it, Roxas closed his eyes and tried to enjoy things, but he didn't like his arms where they were. He felt too clingy, too swept away…the angle and position reminded him of his shorter height. He felt…like a girl. Like the next thing Riku would want him to do would be to kick his foot up behind himself and lean in and whimper like a little princess. His brow furrowed into a frown, and Roxas slowly pulled his arms forward and down over Riku's chest. It wasn't exactly what he felt like doing, but it was better than the girly pose, and _Oh damn, hell yeah his body is nice…_ On the bright side, Roxas could feel the sculpted muscles under his hands, and they were…_very_ nice.

On the other hand, as soon as his hands got too low, Riku flinched again, breaking the kiss. "Sorry, not there. Can you…?" He seemed to be going to move Roxas' arms back around his neck, but Roxas evaded it by threading his hands into silver hair instead.

"How about this?"

"Mmm…" Riku hummed in hesitant agreement and they kissed again, but Roxas was already regretting his idea. Riku's hair…was _full_ of some kind of gel or hair product. It didn't feel nice at _all_, not to him.

He sighed. This wasn't working very well. The actual kissing was nice, but if they couldn't do a little more than that, he didn't really want to waste his time. Not if they weren't compatible… _Oh. That might be what this is._ Lack of compatibility. That…made sense, actually. And the realization gave Roxas the courage to pull back slowly. His expression a little regretful and apologetic, he looked up at Riku…who was still gazing into his eyes. But…Riku's eyes seemed to carry the same disappointment.

"Sorry, I don't think…"

"Yeah," Riku interrupted. He looked at Roxas for another moment, then let go, stepping back. "I guess not."

"Sorry," Roxas offered again. He felt kind of bad about it but…what could he do?

"No, it's fine." Riku shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I thought…" He sighed, looking into Roxas' eyes again. "I was hoping for something. I shouldn't expect that of you, though. It's not your fault."

Roxas wasn't sure what all that was about, but he nodded. Then, not sure what else to say, he just offered an awkward, "Well, good luck," and left when Riku nodded.

_Oh well. _Roxas returned to his drink at the bar. _Guess I can learn from that and move on, nothing lost. _He spent a little more time at the bar trying to do just that. _I guess Axel's not here tonight after all,_ he thought, reminding himself that he could call Axel if he really wanted, and at least he should be glad that Setzer wasn't here either.

He chatted with a few guys who hit on him a little, but none of them caught his interest. He didn't want to seem shallow, so he was certainly willing to give a guy a chance even if he wasn't all that attractive, but he did have _standards_, and some guys didn't quite cut it. Then there were those who did, but Roxas just couldn't see himself getting turned on with them. He was getting tired of slowly sipping his drinks and sort of feeling like giving up when a new guy arrived at the bar. One glance made it clear he was attractive…if not quite as tall and muscular as Roxas would like. His hair was a dark blue color and hung in his face. His clothing was dark and reserved as well. He didn't make much of an impression, but then again… _Don't judge a book by its cover._

Roxas smiled and moved over. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Dark eyes glanced up at him, down and up again once, quickly, and the man nodded without hesitation. "If the drink is a Bloody Mary, yes."

_Oh my God, gross._ Roxas _hated_ those things. Anything with tomato juice made him nauseous. _But still…_ He smiled and nodded and ordered the drink for the guy, introducing himself. "So I'm Roxas…"

"My name is Zexion," the man replied promptly. "Are you propositioning me?"

Roxas almost choked. _**That**_ _was…sudden_. "Um…well…would it be unwelcome?"

Zexion arched an eyebrow at him. "That depends. Are you clean?"

"Um…"

"No drug use, and _no_ diseases?" Zexion pressed.

"Yeah I got that. Um, yes, I'm clean." _What the hell?_

"Are you capable of respecting another person's wishes and boundaries during sexual relations?"

_Holy shit…_ Roxas almost laughed at that one. This guy was _weird_. "Yes, I would never force anything on you…"

"Are you a good kisser?"

_Are you kidding me with these questions?_ "Uh, well, I _think _I am, but that is sort of a matter of opinion, don't you think?" _Don't judge a book by its cover, don't judge a guy by his personality…_

"True." Zexion nodded once, then stood and pushed his Bloody Mary away. Then, without any explanation, he grabbed Roxas by the back of the head and kissed him.

Surprised by a kiss for the second time that evening, Roxas tried – he _really tried_ – to relax and give it his best, in spite of his mild shock and the fact that they were in public here. But… _Oh God, gross, gross, I'm gonna puke…_ He couldn't take the taste of Zexion's drink. The tomato flavor was turning his stomach. So in spite of his best intentions, Roxas pulled back rather quickly.

He and Zexion just looked at each other for a moment. Zexion's expression was blank…Roxas was hoping that his wasn't too obviously disturbed. He fumbled for something to say for a moment, then…

"Never mind…oh." Roxas and Zexion spoke in unison. They blinked at each other, and Zexion finally cracked a smile. Roxas chuckled. "Um, have a good evening then," Roxas added.

"You as well. Thank you for the drink."

"Sure." Roxas paid, swallowed the last of his blue stuff – hoping it would rinse the tomato out of his mouth – and left Destiny.

His feet automatically started to take him home, but Roxas was only halfway there when he stopped for a bit and leaned against the front of a building, thinking. _Well, that could have gone better…but it could have been worse, too,_ he reminded himself. Setzer came to mind… _Ugh._ So maybe a few harmlessly unsuccessful attempts weren't so bad. Though not scoring _was_ sort of disappointing. He wasn't going to another bar though. It was… _11:30. Blegh. I'm tired of looking around. I tried. No luck today. Better luck next time._ He pulled out his phone and flipped it open, contemplating Axel's name on the display. He really should be more tired right now…he really should want to go home. But…warm arms, warm kisses, a touch that could be soft and comforting and pleasuring, or hot and burning and intense – whichever he preferred, probably. _It sounds so…nnngh. Nice._

Roxas called Axel.

Axel answered. Axel was awake. Axel was free. Axel was at home. Roxas would be there in five minutes. Axel said that was fine.

Roxas was just realizing – as he knocked on the door of room 436 – that it was kind of surprisingly convenient that all those things had lined up so nicely, and at the last minute, this late at night…

But then Axel answered his door, and he wasn't wearing a shirt, and his smile was just as friendly as always, and there was green fire in his eyes when he looked at Roxas…and Roxas stopped thinking about the coincidence or whatever it was. He was more concerned with Axel, Axel letting him in, Axel shutting the door and leaning back against the wall, crossing his arms over his _hnngh yum_ chest and smirking at Roxas and commenting something like, "Did you forget what my bedroom looks like already?"

And Roxas probably said something like, "What can I say? It's just not very memorable."

And then Axel probably said something about fixing that _right now_, and from then on Roxas didn't even listen if he said anything else, because Axel pulled him in for a kiss, a perfect, hot, hungry kiss, and he tasted just right and Roxas could put his arms and hands wherever he wanted to, and that's what he did all the way to the bedroom.

In the forgettable bedroom, they fucked wildly until orgasm – neither of them knew how long it was. All Roxas knew was _fuck yes fuck yes fuck yes, yes, yes!_ Because Axel was _really good, _and Roxas _loved_ the way it felt. When he was drifting afterward, dazed with satisfied bliss, it almost seemed ridiculous to have ever wasted time looking for someone else and messing around with those other guys.

_Well, whatever._ It was fine, now. Axel provided a soft blanket and the lovely body heat against his back that Roxas was really starting to enjoy, so he didn't really care about not finding someone else this time.

~o~

When Roxas disappeared into the stairwell the next morning, the first call Axel made was Larxene. It was time to stop telling himself he had this under control. He needed his "hag."

Larxene came over and found him in the exact same condition as when he'd rolled out of bed – unwashed, undressed, and miserable. She shook her head, hands on hips as she looked at him.

"_What_ did I say when you first saw him? What _exactly_ did I say when you were all like, 'I'm gonna go buy that blond guy a drink, be back only if he shuts me down' wink wink wink?"

Axel mumbled into the couch, where he was currently curled up, face buried in the cushions, "Heartbreaker."

"Exactly," Larxene affirmed. "_Heart. Breaker._ I _told_ you he would break your heart, didn't I? _Didn't I?_"

Axel sniffled. "Yeah."

"_Yeah_. And what did he go and do?"

Axel started repeatedly punching the couch – not that any of this was the couch's fault, but sometimes a guy has to punch a couch to keep from crying, so Axel did.

Larxene huffed and dragged her nearly-naked friend off the couch and threw him in a hot shower and made him pancakes and guilted him into eating them and then she sat and listened to the latest events as Axel related them in between picky little nibbles at his food.

He'd gotten the text from the bartender at Destiny. He'd _told_ himself not to go – Larxene approved – but he _couldn't help it_ and he went anyway – Larxene did _not_ approve. Axel had hung around out of sight, though, and not gone after the guy. Approved, sort of. He'd watched Roxas flirt with some pretty boy with intimidating biceps. He'd watched Roxas head to the bathroom, and he'd damn near thrown a beer bottle at the guy when he got up and followed. Axel had snuck close, just close enough to hear if anyone in the bathroom started yelling – _not approved_ – Axel _knew_ that, but what else could he _do?_ What if the guy attacked Roxas and Roxas didn't want it and no one came in time to help him?

"Fine, whatever. So what happened?"

He'd waited and listened, and had _not _heard any sounds of struggle…nor had either of them come back out for a lot longer than necessary. Axel had damn near gone stark raving mad in the interim, imagining what Roxas was most likely doing with that man in some stall in the fucking men's room…

"So what _did_ happen?"

Well, nothing…apparently. At least, Roxas came back out without looking like he'd done anything that required the removal of clothing. And then nothing else happened with that guy, but Roxas talked and flirted with a _bunch_ of others, and even hit on this one guy much later on. And that guy had kissed Roxas, which had once again just about killed Axel, but at least they parted ways right after that. Just in time to keep Axel from breaking something.

And then Roxas had called him after leaving. And Axel had hurried home and welcomed him and slept with him again.

"_Knowing_ you were only his _third choice_, at the absolute _best?_" Further lectures about the other flirtations, and what about any other bars Roxas could have been at before that, and who else he might have called before Axel, and so on and many other options – all that only served to make Axel stop eating and start punching his own thigh.

"I fucking well _know_, okay? I know he's using me, I know he doesn't care at all, I know he'll probably fuck the wrong guy and then give me fucking _AIDS_, okay? _Yes_. He's a heartbreaker and he's going to be the death of me. _I know that._"

Larxene just watched and listened, waiting. "So what did you even call me for?"

Axel fisted both hands in his hair, but his voice came out pathetically weak and whiney. "A hug."

A casual observer wouldn't have been able to tell that the slight shift in Larxene's features was really a _softening_, so they wouldn't have known that they were seeing her _melt_ at that, but that's what she did. And she got up and came around the table and gave Axel one of her Larxene hugs, which had been known to make children cry and adults fear for their ribs, but which were exactly what Axel needed at the moment.

~o~


	5. Sometimes Love Ain't Fun at All

**Author's Note: **So review replies now work - on a new system. And being that the new system is integrated with the PM system, it looks like those who want to have PMs turned off will no longer be able to get replies. I will make a great effort to be okay with this, but be aware (and this goes out to anon reviewers too) that it ALWAYS kills me to be unable to reply. Kay? Kay. :) (Cuz I love all my sweet reviewers and I enjoy talking to y'all, and at the very LEAST I wanna be able to thank you for your kind words.) *less than three*

On another note, you are all welcome to send Axel some hugs; he appreciates them. :) And Roxas appreciates not being smacked, if you can spare him. XD For his sake, may I just remind y'all that, really, changing your sexuality is sort of a big deal and takes time. At least for adults it generally is, and Roxas is in his twenties here. Just sayin. ^.^

Enjoy The Revelation! 8D**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5 ~ Sometimes Love Ain't Fun At All<br>**

The next few weekends turned out much the same. Roxas worked up the nerve to try a couple other bars, and at first they weren't as bad as they seemed, but he really didn't meet anyone he liked, and he couldn't stop worrying about STDs every time he talked to someone…especially when they came on to him too strong. Which guys did…_a lot_ of guys, actually.

Really, it seemed like the more Roxas went out, the more often he got hit on by men who were very forward about their desire to "get out of here" with Roxas. It was quite off-putting, actually. Having a guy practically breathing down his neck, quite obviously just wanting to get in his pants…even if Roxas' plans _did_ kind of line up with that, somehow it annoyed him the way people said it, or acted about it, or…_something_. He wasn't sure why he disliked it so much.

_And after all_, he remembered, _Axel basically did the same thing…didn't he?_ Roxas' memory was hazy, but from what he could recall, Axel's proposition hadn't exactly been subtle. Which made him wonder why he'd been fine with that, but not fine with these guys… _Well, I __**was**__ pretty shitfaced by that point…and I haven't been even close to that drunk since then. Maybe I need to be drunk off my ass. Then I won't care who it is, and I'll just want to fuck anyone._ Roxas stopped considering the idea at that point. _Ugh, but then, what if I fuck someone nasty, or sick, or…I dunno, __**bad**__?_ Really, the more he thought about it, the more Roxas realized he'd been _incredibly_ lucky in finding Axel – or well, being found by Axel – and getting such a nice, clean guy for his first man.

So he ended up calling Axel most weekends, in the end. Sometimes after going out and looking around…and occasionally he just did the lazy thing and called without bothering to get a drink first. Oddly, it seemed like the sex was best when he did that. Which puzzled Roxas a bit because he would have assumed that being tipsy would make him easier to please, but with Axel it was more like being sober allowed him to feel more and enjoy more. And Roxas wondered if it was just his imagination, but lately…well, it seemed like Axel had become more tender. There was something about the way he touched Roxas these days – oh, it could still be plenty hot and hard, especially if Roxas wanted it that way. But there was still something…he couldn't quite figure out what it was.

He wondered, briefly, if he should be worried that the whatever-it-was feeling might be a hint that Axel was getting "gay lover" ideas…but then Roxas shook that idea off. Axel was still way too pleasant and casual for that to be the case. _Thank goodness._

Then one weekend, Axel called Roxas.

It made Roxas nervous, at first, seeing Axel's name on his phone's display. Axel had never called before, it had always just been Roxas choosing when he wanted to ask for Axel – their encounters had all been on Roxas' terms, and even if he was vaguely aware that it wasn't very fair, he kind of liked it that way. He still wasn't sure he was ready to be the one accommodating someone else. It felt too close to _commitment, _too like a _relationship_…

"Hey, are you free this weekend? Thinking of going out or something?"

"Umm…I dunno…maybe. Why?" Roxas was hesitant to say anything that would commit him.

"Well, I just thought, if you aren't busy, I have a friend who's having a party. If you'd rather get a few drinks for free, you're invited."

_Oh. Is that all?_ "A party? But I don't know the host…"

"Oh don't worry, a lot of people are inviting others, it's a big get-together. There will be lots of people who don't know the host. You can meet some of my gay friends." Roxas could hear the grin in Axel's voice, and decided to tease back…with a little seriousness behind the question.

"Oh yeah? Are any of your gay friends single right now?"

"…Yeah! Lots of them are, actually. You should come."

_Not a bad idea._ "All right, when and where?" As Roxas noted down the details Axel gave him, he felt better and better about this. This was good. This was a chance to meet guys – and he could get the details on them from someone who knew them personally, because Axel would be there, and Axel would help him out. _Maybe this is my chance to finally hook up with someone new._

Roxas wore a nice, deep blue shirt to the party – and it only took him half an hour to choose it. He _really_ hoped he would make a good impression if he met someone good. He also kind of subconsciously hoped that Axel was friends with a bunch of single men who were a lot like Axel. In all the ways that counted, anyway.

~o~

After two hours at the party, Roxas hadn't scored yet. He'd seen Axel off and on since arriving, and Axel had introduced him to a few people, but so far he didn't think he'd found his next hookup. He'd danced with a few men, which was good, and he was keeping an eye out for two in particular who he thought he could try dancing with again…especially now that he was a _little_ more tipsy. But he ran into Axel first.

Axel…and a fairly drunk blonde girl hanging all over him. She interrupted when Roxas was just beginning to ask Axel about one of the guys he'd danced with.

"So who's _this_ little guy, huh Ax? _Huh?_ Hey…who're _you?_ You're cute…Ax, he's _cute!_" The girl turned to practically yell in Axel's ear. "_You should try him out, hey? _Nice change."

Axel flinched. "Hi again…and this is Larxene, who you haven't met. She needs to get home now, so…"

Roxas didn't have time to notice that Axel didn't mention _his_ name to the girl. Larxene slapped the redhead's arm. "Do _not!_ Not going home. Need another margarita. And _who are you?_"

"Uh, I'm Roxas…" The reply was instant, automatic as Roxas backed away a little to keep the girl from bumping into his face.

"Roxas?" The girl squinted and frowned. "_Roxas?_ You're _Roxas?_" Confused, he nodded, searching for words to reply with, but Axel was talking over him, talking to Larxene about _come on let's go_, and he suddenly seemed to be in a bit of a hurry to get going with her, but she wouldn't be hurried away.

"Roxas! So you're the little heartbreaker, huh? _I see how it is!_ Pretty babyface blue-eyes, _Axel you shouldn't worry so much about him!_" The girl seemed determined to scream her words at random intervals. "Gotta find you someone new. I'mma get right on that. _Quit crying your eyes out over this babyface!_ I find you somebody who won't play with your feelins, sweetie, _I find you a cute one like cuter than him, promise okay?_"

Roxas just gaped. At that point, Axel finally succeeded in lifting the girl bodily – which he'd been trying to do since she began talking – and then he was hauling her away with a barely-muttered excuse. Roxas was left staring at empty space, attempting to process what had just been said. Said about him. Said to _Axel_. About _him and Axel_, he _thought_…and about Axel's "feelings." Feelings which were either complete drunk bullshit…or very new information. It depended on just how much the girl called Larxene really knew about Axel.

_Holy fucking shit…was that for real? What did she mean "crying"? Crying about __**me**__? What the…no way. No __**way**__. That's just bullshit._ First of all, Axel didn't seem like the type of guy to cry…not even when Bambi's mother died. Second – and more importantly – Axel had been nothing but casual and friendly to him this _entire time_. Hell, as Roxas understood it,_ Axel_ had been the one to invite him to this damn party _to meet other guys!_ Was that something gay men did with someone they had "feelings" for? _Like hell. _Roxas knew a _little _better now, at least. _Being gay isn't the opposite of __**making sense.**__ Axel doesn't have feelings for me. I would have noticed._

Except… _Would I? _If he thought about it…had Roxas _really_ been paying _that much _attention? And what about that time Axel got upset for no apparent reason…or the way he'd been lately, when they were in bed together? He'd dismissed his suspicions as silly, but if they weren't… _Maybe…_

Roxas' feet took him in the direction Axel had vanished before he'd finished that thought. But he didn't see Axel in the next room – _Shit! _– or the next. Roxas hunted through the house a bit before he thought to try the exits – Axel had been trying to get that girl to leave, right? Roxas headed for the front door.

He stepped outside into the warm evening…and after a quick glance around, he located Axel at the far end of the porch. He was sitting on a deck chair with his elbows propped on his knees and his head in his hands. The sound of puking from some nearby bushes gave Roxas an idea where Larxene was.

Roxas swallowed nervously and shuffled forward, unsure why his heart was suddenly racing. "Axel."

Startled, the man looked up – the porch light reflected in those bright eyes, but they looked so…wrong. Desperate and unhappy…not like Axel at all. The man blinked at once though, and a tense smile appeared on his face. "Hey."

A renewed burst of vomiting drew Roxas' attention for a moment. "She gonna be okay?"

Axel sighed and looked over in the direction of the sound. "Yeah…I'm just waiting for her roommate to get here and take her home. I can't drive her anywhere myself for at least an hour yet."

Nodding silently, Roxas shifted his weight. _Maybe I should just let it go…it was probably just bullshit, he probably doesn't wanna talk about something that dumb and impossible… But…_ Roxas cleared his throat. "Um, hey, so…what was she talking about a minute ago?"

Shoulders stiffening just a bit, Axel remained frozen for a moment. His silence…worried Roxas. _Holy shit, you can't mean that was…_ "Larxene…uh, was just worried about me. It's nothing though, I mean, it doesn't affect you."

Eyebrows going up, Roxas echoed, "It doesn't _affect_ me?"

"It doesn't _have_ to," Axel corrected quickly. "It's just…" He sighed. "Look, Roxas. I get it, okay?" Roxas blinked and listened as Axel finally turned to face him, green eyes serious and a little sad. "You wanna look around. That's your prerogative – you've got a right to see what's out there, if you want. _I_ sure as hell did. So it's okay. Don't worry about it." He shrugged and turned away again.

Roxas frowned. "But what Larxene said…"

"Roxas." He stopped and watched Axel, who was watching the ground between his feet. "Just…I'll just say this. I've been around. I've tried a lot of things, and I guess…I know a good thing when I see it." A glance at Roxas that lingered a moment. Axel's voice had become so quiet… "If you wanna find out for yourself…I get that, I do. And um…well, I'll still be around. If you ever decide…you know." There was a long pause while Roxas struggled for something to say – his mind was blank with shock at all this…this impossible _admission_. Finally, Axel added, almost as an afterthought, "I can wait. You're worth that much, to me."

_Oh my God…are you kidding?_ Roxas couldn't believe he'd just heard those words…spoken so simply and honestly, without any shame or bluster or pretension. Axel just _said it_ – and he shattered Roxas' world without even blinking.

"I'm sorry." It was the first thing that came out of his mouth – the first thing he could think of. Because, well…it was one thing to let himself be a little selfish and sleep with Axel as a convenient sex friend when he felt like it – as long as Axel was okay with it and didn't mind and _hopefully_ enjoyed the sex himself. It was another thing entirely to do that to someone who had… _Dear God…__**feelings.**_ Gay or straight, that was just _wrong._ And Roxas never, _ever_ would have used Axel like that…if he'd known. "I'm…I'm so sorry."

Axel's hands clasped tightly in front of him. The man didn't look up as he asked quietly, "Is that 'I'm sorry' as in, 'I'm sorry but there's no way I'll ever feel anything for you'?"

"No!" Roxas reached forward instinctively, but pulled back the next minute when Axel looked up, his expression wavering between sadness and hope. "I meant…sorry for the way I've been…been using you. I…I didn't know."

"Oh, that." Axel shrugged, looking away again. "Don't worry about that. My fault. I know you wouldn't have done it, if you knew." His voice dropped almost to a mumble. "That's kinda why I didn't tell you…"

That stopped Roxas for a minute. He ran that though his head, trying to make sense of the information, but all he could come up with was that either he'd somehow misunderstood something, or Axel was a bit of an emotional masochist. Roxas ran the conversation through his head once more, quickly, before he sighed and shuffled forward, dropping into a deck chair beside Axel. "That's not good, Axel. You shouldn't do that stuff to yourself…" It felt like kind of a dumb thing to say…but Roxas still hadn't come up with anything better.

"Yeah," Axel sighed, leaning back. Then they just sat there quietly, gazing out over the lawn. Occasionally, renewed coughing sounds would precede another round of retching from the bushes at the end of the porch. "I'm gonna have to do something about that mess," Axel complained in a bland tone.

Roxas glanced over. "Why not…I dunno, get her to a bathroom?"

"I'd have to take her back _inside_ for that." Axel didn't need to explain how that would go. Roxas had been able to hear the frequency and unpredictability with which Larxene was puking. "Anyway," the man finished, "it's fine. Better she gets it out here than in her roommate's car. Gardens are easier to clean up than upholstery."

"Ah. Yeah," Roxas agreed weakly. He was trying – _really trying_ – to figure out what he should do about his situation with Axel…but he was stuck. Obviously, he wasn't going to be sleeping with Axel again right away. At least, not like _this._ If something changed, then maybe… But it would be taking advantage and hurting Axel the way things were right now, that much was clear, and Roxas thought too highly of the guy to do that to him intentionally.

He really did think well of Axel, too. It wasn't just that he was hot and an amazing fuck, either. He was such a nice guy…but it was even more than that. More than the fact that he was friendly and generally good company – Roxas had plenty of friends like that. But Axel…there was something different about Axel. Something in the way Axel looked at him, the way he treated him…something Roxas couldn't quite define, but when he thought about it, it had always been there, hadn't it? Whenever they'd talked, or fucked, or just…been side by side, silently, like right now. Something just felt _right_. Something _fit_.

Roxas wasn't sure he'd ever felt anything quite like it, but he _was_ mostly sure he didn't want to lose the feeling.

But then again, what would that mean? Given the way Axel felt about him, if Roxas wanted to stick around the guy, it wouldn't even be okay to take a step back and try being "just friends" – Roxas had been on Axel's end of that equation with a girl, once. _She_ may have enjoyed the friendship, but it had been agony for Roxas. He had no intention of doing that to Axel – it would be just as bad as what he'd _been_ doing. Whether as sex friends or _just friends_, he wouldn't let Axel suffer for Roxas' own convenience.

So really, it was either cut ties and never see the guy again…or get serious with him.

But the thought of what "getting serious" would mean – being a real couple, making room in his life for Axel and his needs and wishes, sharing decisions, sharing _life_, telling his family, _coming out_… Roxas felt a little panicked. Maybe some people could just date on the sly, stay in the closet, play it safe…but Roxas didn't work like that. He didn't half-ass things, he didn't try to live in the best of both worlds – when he made a decision, he went the whole way with it and dealt with the downsides. That was why he always thought his choices out very carefully. That was why he needed all the information, as accurately as possible.

That was why he had to ask… "Hey, Axel?" He cleared his throat, a little nervously. "Um…I got the idea and all, but could you maybe…tell me exactly how it is?" He glanced over at green eyes that watched him quietly…then swallowed and looked out over the lawn again almost at once. "How…how you feel, I mean."

"How I feel about _you?_" Axel's voice was so soft…

"Yeah." Roxas chewed on his lip and held his breath. _God_ he wished his heart would slow down.

A car pulled up in front of the house, and Axel looked up, then stood. For a second, Roxas' stomach dropped – he didn't want to be interrupted, he _needed to know this…_ But then Axel stopped beside him after only a few steps, and Roxas caught his breath as he felt that familiar, big hand ruffling through his hair.

Axel looked down at the blond and just told him. "I'm pretty much in love with you, kid."

Blue eyes widened, staring at the ground. Then the hand was removed, and Axel was leaving the porch to go get Larxene and drag her over to the waiting car. But before he got more than a few steps away, he turned back, and Roxas watched a thin, tight smile stretch over that strained face. "Call me some time, okay?"

Roxas nodded, and Axel waved and turned away. He left with Larxene and her roommate – Roxas didn't know if that had been the original plan, but the point was, Axel didn't come back. Roxas was left to think things through on his own.

And now he had all the facts, too.

He sat on that porch for about half an hour before getting up and going home. He lined everything up in his mind – everything he would risk if he did this, every worry and lingering uncertainty, every possible hurt to himself and his family if Roxas accepted this new label – _gay_ – and decided to live with it. Then he lined up everything on the other side of the equation. The emptiness and disappointment in his three relationships so far. The less-than-enjoyable attempts at getting somewhere with other men, and his dislike for the idea of trying any more new people. Then there was…_Axel_. Axel, whose company was quite possibly the most enjoyable Roxas had ever known. Axel, who was…already in love with him. And that was a point to consider, because after all, if Roxas was going to take a risk, it helped to know that Axel was in love with him, and therefore risking something too. _Because love is always risky._ He knew that much for sure.

The sex didn't enter into the equation. Not that Roxas didn't think about it, but whatever powerful pull it held for him at the moment was discounted. Because in a year, two years, five years…it wouldn't be this important anymore. And Roxas didn't make decisions that impacted the rest of his life based on temporary conditions.

So he had his doubts and fears stacked against a pile of possibilities…and Axel's love. _Love._ And it was such a weird concept that Roxas couldn't think the word without blinking and shaking his head. Why the hell would Axel be in love with him, anyway? How could Axel be so sure about it? They barely knew each other…well, outside of a couple months' worth of weekend sex and some morning-after chats over coffee that had never gotten really deep – he didn't _think_ – beyond that, they were still really only a step up from strangers. Could Axel really be in love with a stranger? Didn't it make more sense to think that Axel might just be confused, infatuated with him, something like that? _Maybe he just thinks I'm fuckable and can't think of anything else right now…_ Roxas frowned. _No, that won't work._ He couldn't go questioning what Axel thought and felt. He didn't really know anything about Axel or how he'd come to feel this way, so he shouldn't assume he knew better and decide Axel wasn't in love with him, just because Roxas' brain found that idea easier to grasp. No – if Axel said he was in love, Roxas was going to have to accept that at face value.

_In love…with __**me**__…_ Roxas felt his face heating up again and his breathing getting a little fast. That was just…well, that wasn't the kind of idea he could simply shrug off. That was _something_. Even if it didn't make sense.

Roxas finally got up and left. He didn't go back to the party – although for about half a minute he had a mad urge to run back in there and find one of those guys he'd sort of thought was cute. Just grab him, and dance, and grind, and try to find a dark corner to make out in. Just frantically, desperately try to prove to himself that there were still other options, other avenues to be explored…other excuses why he shouldn't be thinking that the guy he'd been happy to call a good _first man_ might be turning into someone he could seriously see himself opening his life to. Maybe even someone who could be…his _last man_. Maybe. _If._

…_If there's a less-cheesy way to think of that. Ugh._

For now, though, Roxas went home. It was too much, too fast, and he needed to rest, calm down, sober up, and give himself a little more time to think about this. Roxas didn't make big decisions quickly, while sitting on other people's porches.

~o~

Axel rode in the back seat with Larxene. At first, he was keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn't puke again, but when she quickly passed out, he was free to just ask her roommate to drop him off at home and take care of Larxene from there. Then, he rode the rest of the way in silence, staring out the window with his forehead pressed to the cool glass, convinced that he would never, ever hear from Roxas again, and he'd just said goodbye to the guy he loved.

~o~


	6. And Once You Trip, You're Bound to Fall

**Author's Note:** And...that's all she wrote! Thanks guys, this is the end of OtaPGS, sorry to those who wanted more, _it was meant to be a oneshot_, as so many of my fics are, lol. And I hope no one wants to smack Roxas anymore. XD

I feel like this whole thing was kinda Love Stinks in reverse. XD

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 ~ And Once You Trip, You're Bound to Fall<br>**

For a month, Axel didn't hear from Roxas. His phone didn't ring, and there were no texts from Destiny. He took to hanging out there in all his free time, just in case the bartenders weren't paying enough attention and missed Roxas. But Roxas didn't come.

Axel cried to his fag hag – metaphorically speaking, because he didn't really _cry_…at least, not much – and Larxene hugged him some more and even managed to keep the "I told you sos" mostly to herself…but somehow it didn't help much. Not for long, anyway. When he went to sleep, his bed felt so painfully empty and his apartment so hollow and quiet that whatever comfort Larxene had given him was _gone_, just like that, vanished and forgotten and not at all useful for helping him stop the sniffles. All he could do was muffle them with his pillow.

Eventually, Axel even cried – again, metaphorically – to his _brother_, but Reno's solution was just to persistently try to set him up on blind dates with some guys he knew who he was "pretty sure" were gay. Axel was pretty sure they _weren't_, they were just socially awkward and Reno couldn't tell the difference, and anyway, he didn't want to just go out and get laid, but Reno couldn't get that idea through his head either.

"You _don't_ want to fuck a dude? Why? Why wouldn't you want to _fuck_ a dude? Oh hey! Are you finally turning straight? Dude, you should just _say so!_ Do you have _any_ idea how many girls I could get you for this weekend? You could line them up and take your fucking _pick_…"

Axel gave up talking to Reno.

Out of options, Axel cried not-so-metaphorically to his pillow…or, more accurately, to the extra blanket he still kept in his bed, even though he didn't need it anymore and probably never would again. But that was a secret – the blanket _and _the crying – and he'd never tell a soul about it. It sucked bad enough to be broken-hearted. Axel didn't like feeling like a total _weenie_ on top of that. He was a _man, _damn it. He really, honestly _never_ cried – except when Bambi's mother died, but fuck, he had a _heart_ – but right now, he couldn't help it.

So he abused a stereotype and told himself it was okay because he was gay, sensitive, and not offended by stereotypes right now.

After a month, his phone rang. It was Roxas.

Axel nearly suffered a fatal heart attack on the spot, and he dropped his phone trying to answer it. He tried very, very hard to sound cool, friendly, and nonchalant. "H-hey, Roxas?"

"Yeah. Hi, Axel."

_Oh God he called me, oh my God oh my God, _"Hi! What's, um, the occasion?" _Shit. That was lame. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…_

"I was wondering…if you're free this afternoon, can you meet me?"

~o~

Not five minutes after hanging up the phone, Roxas was surprised to see Axel arrive at the coffee shop. Granted, he'd called from here, a block down from Destiny and three from Axel's apartment, but he'd said "any time this afternoon" and he'd figured on hanging out a while with his coffee and laptop until Axel was free. But apparently, Axel was free _right now_. Roxas swallowed the little flutter in his stomach when he wondered if maybe it was because of _him_…

And then he swallowed another flutter that was a little more intense when he looked at Axel and realized that not seeing the guy for a month had made him forget – just a tiny bit – how hot Axel was. _How does a guy like that even __**notice**__ a guy like me?_

Axel sat down with his usual friendly smile – but maybe it was because for once, Roxas was _really _paying attention…he could see the faint strain around the edges of Axel's smile, the slight fidgeting as he settled himself at the table. _Is he nervous? Over…over meeting __**me**__?_ Roxas was about to open his mouth and say something when the waitress popped up, asking what Axel wanted. Axel distractedly ordered coffee. It didn't take especially sharp observation skills this time to pick up on his jitters. Roxas found himself suppressing a smile. _I guess that's…love…after all. _He felt some of his own nervousness fade. Doubts about whether Axel would still be interested in him – Roxas _had_ made him wait a month, after all – suddenly had their answer. A few of his fears faded away.

"So…how've you been? Careful!" Roxas interrupted himself as Axel went to swallow his coffee. "That's hot…" Axel blinked, realizing he'd almost burned the inside of his mouth blistery by not paying attention, and he blushed a little, slowly pushing the coffee away.

"Oh…yeah. Thanks." He glanced up at Roxas. "Yeah, I've been…uh, you know."

"I see," Roxas answered. Axel's grin was a little rueful – it made Roxas feel a pang of regret. He really wished he could have given Axel some kind of certain answer sooner than this but…he'd needed to make sure things were ready. And he'd needed to be sure. And now that he _was_, he hadn't wasted any time before calling Axel.

"Um, how about you?" Axel tried hopefully. He was slowly beginning to relax, getting less stiff – collecting himself and calming down. Even if the calm wasn't perfect, he was working on it.

Roxas paused a moment, considering his answer. Then, he smiled gently. "I've…missed you." It was more than a little cute how Axel visibly caught his breath at that. Roxas continued, getting straight to the point now, "I'm sorry it took me so long to call you. I needed…some time. To make sure of things. I'm sorry I couldn't give you an answer sooner."

Axel shook his head a little, brows furrowed. "No, it's fine…I didn't, uh, really expect to hear from you again at all, so it's really okay."

_What? He thought I'd just disappear after he told me how he felt? Damn. We really need to get to know each other better._ Roxas sighed. "Thanks…but I wouldn't do that. You deserve an answer, Axel."

The man's voice was a little breathless now. "Okay." Furtive green glances kept darting up to Roxas' face, then away again – Axel was still nervous. Roxas figured maybe he should just get this out quickly so Axel could start to calm down.

"Yeah. Right, well…um, Axel, I wanted to tell you…I'm not gonna be calling you up like that anymore. You know," his voice dropped discreetly, considering the location, "just for a fuck." Axel blinked at him as Roxas finished. "We're not sex friends anymore, or whatever. I want us to pretend that never happened."

"Oh." Axel's face fell, his eyes empty and shattered, and Roxas immediately realized he needed to choose his words better. Yet more evidence that they both _really _needed some quality time around each other, _outside_ of the bedroom. _Shit._

"So if that's okay," he plowed ahead quickly, "I was wondering what you're doing this weekend. Are you free Friday night?"

Green eyes blinked at him blankly. Axel seemed thoroughly startled and confused by the question. "Um…yeah, I think I'm free Friday…"

Roxas just spat it out. "Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Axel's expression stayed frozen for another moment, then began to dissolve into…hesitant realization. Like he _thought_ he understood, but he wasn't sure. Like maybe something was too good to be true. Roxas felt a little prickle of warmth in his chest. _So maybe I can read him a __**little**__. _ Maybe all that time in bed together had helped him understand Axel after all. Just in _some_ ways. A tiny bit.

The other man was slowly nodding, still unable to find words – still unsure – and Roxas quickly added, "You should know…if you go to dinner with me on Friday, I'm going to call you next week and ask you out again. And then the week after that – or the following week, at the latest – I'm gonna invite you to dinner at my parents' house. So they can meet you."

_That_ seemed to snap Axel out of his incredulous daze for a moment. Green eyes blinked sharply at Roxas. "Huh? Meet your…parents? But…"

"Why not?" Roxas cut him off. "They always want to meet the people I date. They have a right to be introduced to my…my boyfriend."

Axel's face went red from his hairline to his shirt collar. Roxas promptly blushed too – it was unbelievable how cute that was, how much it made him want to reach across the table and just kiss Axel right there.

After a moment, Axel managed to find his voice. "You…you don't have to do that, Roxas. I mean, it's a big step and…and I don't mind. You don't have to push yourself for my sake or anything…"

"Axel." Roxas _thought_ he could see where this was going. "It's not that. Listen…" _How do I explain this for him?_ "Okay. I _do_ have some commitment issues, probably. I haven't had much luck in relationships so far. So yeah, I _wasn't_ ready. Before. But that's what this past month has been about, for me. I've been…working on some things. Figuring out what I want. And I called you today because…I'm ready, and I want to do this. I…I _like_ you, Axel, and I want to get to know you better. I want to try to be something with you. And you should know…this is how I work. I've already told my parents that…that the next romantic interest I bring home won't be a girl. So I'm serious about this. I like you, and I want to have a relationship with you. I want to start over and do things right."

Axel looked positively stunned. He took a long, deep breath…and nothing came out. Then Roxas added, as a quick afterthought, "If you're interested, that is."

Two heavy swallows later, Axel finally found his voice. There was a tense, forced sort of casual lightness in his tone as Axel weakly ginned and answered, "Y-yeah…yeah, I'm interested. _Definitely_…interested."

The nervous, happy flutter that rose up in Roxas' stomach was almost immediately put down again by a thought that made his smile turn a little wry. "Okay, good. But um, you have to work on something for me, Axel." Green eyes blinked, but Roxas just continued without waiting for the man to ask. "You _really_ need to try to be more honest about your feelings and stuff. I mean, keeping important shit to yourself is just not gonna work. I need you to _tell me_ things or I won't _know_, you know?" Axel was just staring intently at him, and it was making Roxas a little flustered, nervous. Making him ramble a bit. "Like, I know it's not easy and all, to bring that stuff up. Honestly, _I_ have _never_ started those 'let's-talk-about-our-feelings' conversations. Always waited until my girlfriend brought it up. So I understand it's tough, but seriously, shit falls apart if certain things _don't_ get discussed at _some_ point, and the really important feelings _definitely_ need to come out, so I'll work on this too and all, but you gotta promise me not to keep things to yourself like you were doing before. With the acting all cool and leaving me to guess and…"

Roxas' rambling was stopped dead right there as Axel launched himself across the table – utensils and condiments clattering and a paper menu falling to the floor – and then Roxas found his face being grabbed and his lips being kissed so hard and hot and suddenly that he was frozen with shock for a moment. His jaw dropped and his eyes bugged as Roxas was torn between embarrassment – knowing they were in public and now being stared at – and a mind-numbingly fast rush of heat sweeping through his body because Axel instantly stuck his tongue in Roxas' mouth and _oh my God, yes, I forgot he __**tasted**__ like this! Fucking…unngh!_

Then, just as quickly, Axel pulled back, but only an inch or so, and his voice was rough and raw and gave Roxas goosebumps at the intensity. "You wanna know the truth? I'm crazy about you, I'm stupid with love for you, I wanna be your boyfriend so bad I'd do _anything_, and hearing you ask me out makes me so happy I could cry. Seriously." Roxas blinked in shock at Axel, still not two inches away from his face, and then cracked a grin as Axel chuckled weakly, "And now I'm scared shitless to meet your parents and I'm sorry if getting kissed in public embarrasses you but I don't care, I don't care about any of that because I fucking love you and this is awesome."

Being reminded of their location didn't help much, and Roxas just knew he was flushing like crazy now that he was fully aware of all the eyes on them, but he decided to put all that aside – just for a second – and focus on the more important things Axel had just said. Like the love part, and the effort Axel was making to be honest about his feelings – which Roxas really did appreciate.

So he tipped his head forward and bumped Axel's forehead lightly with his own and even managed to work up the nerve to touch Axel's lips with his own in a soft, quick kiss. "God, you're cute," he murmured through a little grin.

Axel giggled a little manically, his fingers digging into Roxas' hair with fitful tugs and caresses. "Am I cute enough to take home with you?"

Roxas laughed and got up, nudging Axel to follow as he dropped more than enough money on the table and hurried them both out of the café in an effort to lose the audience. "Well," he hesitantly answered once they were on the street, "to be honest, I was planning on starting off a little slower this time around. So maybe you could wait until our second date? We'll do a restaurant on Friday, and then the following weekend I'll have you over and cook for you. How does that sound?"

Looking perfectly giddy, Axel answered, "If you had me over for burnt toast in a _month_ I'd be thrilled. _That_…sounds wonderful."

Hoping his cheeks weren't getting too red again, Roxas bumped himself sideways, shoulder against Axel's arm. Then he changed the subject. "So…may I walk you home?"

"So you can protect me from all the bad men who might take advantage of me?" Axel grinned with delight. "Yes, pretty please."

Roxas rolled his eyes and walked Axel home. They got a little tangled up at Axel's door…or a _lot_ tangled, probably. It certainly took them a while to figure out how to pull apart. Axel's face was flushed when they finally did, his lips shining with saliva and his eyes glazed. "Ohhh, baby, you sure you don't wanna come in for a bit?"

_I wanna "come," hell yeah, oh God I want it, fuck…_ The door was _right there,_ and it had been a _month,_ and his mind and body were screaming at him to just _do it, do it, hurry up right now…_ But Roxas forced himself to ignore the intense urge. "I'll…uh, I'll call you about Friday, okay?"

Axel stuck his tongue back in Roxas' mouth. Roxas sucked on it until he absolutely _had_ to stop – if he let this go on any longer, he was going to fuck Axel _hot and fast and hard_ and damn the consequences. So, trying to ignore the tightness in his pants and the way his whole body was tingling and craving _more_, Roxas pulled back. Axel moaned pathetically. Roxas wanted to do the same.

"Seriously, Friday," he panted. "Dinner. I'll call. We've got lots of time, I promise. I'll um," he backed up a step to keep himself from latching onto Axel again. "I'll see you later, kay?"

Axel slumped against his doorframe, but his eyes sparkled at Roxas, who was still backing away slowly, and he giggled. "You're my boyfriend."

Nodding, feeling the silly grin on his own face as well, Roxas answered breathlessly. "Yeah. You too. I have a…I have a _boyfriend_." _Shit, I don't believe that. Wow._

Biting his lip hard, Axel lifted a hand in a weak wave. "See you Friday, boyfriend."

Roxas went red, waved back, and fled. He absolutely had to get out of there _right now_, or he really _was_ going to fuck Axel. Probably three times in a row.

Feeling lightheaded with excitement and a little bit disbelieving and a whole lot nervous, Roxas headed home. He tried to wrap his mind around the concept the whole way. _I have a boyfriend. I have a __**boyfriend**__. Axel is my boyfriend. Fucking hell._ He was scared to death. It was amazing.

~o~

Axel had one hell of a raging boner, but he found a way to jump up and down all over his apartment, a hand clapped over his mouth to keep from screaming for the whole complex to hear, _He asked me out, he asked me out, Roxas is my __**boyfriend**__!_ Then he called Larxene, and almost screamed – but managed a hoarse, manic whisper instead – "_Larx-oh-my-fucking-God-I'm-dating-Roxas-gotta-go-b ye!_" Then for a split second he thought about calling his brother and gloating, but that didn't seem as important as certain other needs, so he masturbated on the couch instead, a huge, idiotic grin plastered on his face the whole time.

Then he got up and cleaned up in a hurry, because he was seriously late for work.

~o~

Friday night was a lovely night, and their dinner date was perfect, and it was exactly what Roxas had hoped for – a chance to sit and talk and get to know his new boyfriend a little better as a person. All his agonizing nervousness finally disappeared when they were together again, and it turned out that they _could_ talk to each other, they had several mutual interests, and there were no awkward silences – Roxas had been tormented by the fear of awkward silence all week. He just didn't know what he'd _do_ if it turned out that they didn't have much to talk about… But all that was forgotten – along with the time – when they were finally actually _on_ the date. And the fact that they talked until the restaurant closed and had to apologetically give their waitress an extra large tip to make up for monopolizing her table all night…just made Roxas twenty times happier.

He was happy that he and Axel both liked the arts. He was happy that Axel loved cats. He was happy that Axel did his own taxes and was pretty good with numbers and budgets for a theater guy – and therefore would not need Roxas to help him with that crap. He was just very, very happy…and he liked Axel, and he was glad he did, because he _wanted_ to like Axel. He didn't think he'd ever been so eager to fall for someone. Naturally, it helped that every time he looked up, those green eyes were giving him a look that was far too easy to read – _adoring_.

It also helped that Roxas had given himself lots of time to think about this, because now he was so much more ready. He knew what he wanted, and it wasn't just a fuck buddy to waste time with. Really, come to think of it, he had never honestly wanted that in the first place…he just hadn't been quite prepared to make a commitment to another guy, and he'd probably jumped into the whole gay sex thing a little faster than he should have – _yay alcohol_. His whole life, his parents had emphasized the importance of commitment, and as a result, Roxas wasn't the sort of person who could just sleep around casually. He'd hoped, for a while, that maybe he _could_ be like that, because maybe it was the solution to his faltering love life…but this was better.

Now, his parents knew. They had been surprised, but they promised their support, if Roxas was sure. And Roxas had done some self-examination too, and now he _was_ sure – he was ready to give this a shot, and if it wasn't right, he would know soon enough. But…he hoped it would work. He wanted to be happy, of course, but now…he wanted it to work because he wanted _Axel_ to be happy, too. And he was so, so pleased that they got along, and had things they could build a friendship on, because he wanted this to last. He'd missed having Axel in his life this past month, and it went beyond the sex. He'd missed morning coffee with the guy, and the way he flirted, and the sound of his voice and his big hands and his smile. It was _really good_ to see Axel again.

By the end of the date, Roxas was feeling much more confident in their chances. They'd had fun, behaved themselves and talked like two grown men, and parted afterward without even jumping each other. Not that Roxas hadn't been thinking about things like that – sticking his tongue in Axel's mouth, or his hand down Axel's pants, or certain parts of his body in certain parts of Axel's… _Not. Yet. Damn. It._ Oh, the thoughts had been there, driving him crazy, but Roxas had controlled himself – _barely_. He kept chanting in his head, like a mantra – _Save it for the second date, save it for the second date._

And really, if he could wait even longer, that would be even better. Give him more time to get to know Axel as a friend, outside of the bedroom. When Roxas made it through the first date without dragging Axel into the men's room, an alley, his car, or any other semi-private location, he began to think maybe his self-control was awesome enough to last even longer.

~o~

Over the week following their first date, Roxas realized he had slightly overestimated his ability to control his libido. Either that, or he had _under_estimated the effect of a month's abstinence. But then, he'd recently gone over two years without sex, so logically, one month should _not_ have had him this desperate. Clearly, it was Axel's fault – the sudden burning intensification of Roxas' lust as soon as Axel entered his apartment for their second date was all the confirmation he needed for that theory – and Roxas said as much over dinner, when they were seated across from each other over Roxas' kitchenette table. Axel blinked at him, green eyes surprised a moment before he smirked.

"So it's _my_ fault you're horny?"

"Yep." Roxas eyed the other man, who looked utterly delicious in that dress shirt. Roxas had never seen _anyone_ look so hot. He felt rather feverish and lightheaded.

"Well you know," Axel purred softly, "I can take care of that for you…I can do anything you want. But _you're_ the one who said we have to _wait._"

He grinned back. "Yeah, we have to wait. I'm not that good at cooking and I'm proud of how this chicken turned out, so we're eating it. So stop making me even hornier, or there will be paybacks." He winked, slipping his right foot out of his shoe, already guessing what Axel's response would be.

"Oh yeah?" A red eyebrow arched. "What would that…uh…" He faltered as Roxas' sock-covered foot trailed up the inside of the other man's pant leg. "…Um…look…like…" Axel gasped, his eyes going unfocused as Roxas pressed his foot carefully over his boyfriend's groin. "God damn it you tease…" he whispered helplessly.

Smirking a little, but breathing hard himself, Roxas wiggled his toes as he carefully rubbed Axel's cock with his foot. Axel was hard almost at once, and Roxas let his foot nestle comfortably against his boyfriend's erection, casually pretending he wasn't just as hard himself – because Axel couldn't see the tent Roxas was pitching without looking under the table, and considering his condition, it would probably be a little uncomfortable for the redhead to bend that way. Roxas licked his lips as Axel panted and stared at him, and he took a slow bite of chicken…tongue dragging over the fork sensually.

Axel groaned, his hands shaking a little, and he almost dropped his knife. "You…God, Roxas, do you have _any_ idea what you do to me?"

Forcing himself to keep eating calmly, Roxas softly answered, "I think I have an idea." He wiggled his toes a little again, pointing out some of the evidence that had clued him in. Axel grunted. Roxas concluded, "The question is, do _you_ know what _you_ do to _me?_"

Green eyes sparkled at him through their haze of lust. "Not really…are you saying I should find out?"

Shrugging, Roxas took a sip of wine. "If you're curious."

Apparently, Axel _was_ curious. Roxas was not surprised by the foot that rubbed up the inside of his leg in return, but he was a little startled by how quickly Axel had gotten his shoe off. And then he went weak all over as heat flooded him when Axel's foot found his groin and repaid the torture, toe-wiggling and all.

They looked at each other, both hard, both aware, both touching, panting, flushing… And Axel swallowed. "We're going to have sex tonight, right? That's what you said? This is the second date…right?"

Roxas tried to answer lightly, but his voice was a bit low and rough, "Eat your chicken, Axel."

"But _are_ we going to have sex tonight?" The man pressed, voice weak. "Please say yes…"

Continuing to eat, calm on the surface, Roxas remarked, "Not before we finish dinner, at least." He slowly, neatly cut another bite of chicken. Axel shuddered and attempted to handle his own silverware with the same finesse. They ate in burning silence for a moment before Roxas glanced up, swallowing before he continued in the same calm tone, "We're going to have sex tonight, Axel. When we're done eating, I'm taking you into my bedroom, and we're going to strip naked and fuck each other raw, until we can't walk or think or speak or do anything other than pass out. I'm going to scream your name until I'm hoarse, and you're going to scream mine too, while you're coming inside me. In short, yes, we are having sex tonight."

Axel gasped and clamped his thighs together around Roxas' foot, shivering and breathing hard for several minutes. When he finally looked up, his eyes were glazed. "Oh God…I almost came. You almost _talked_ me to orgasm, Roxas."

Feeling his face burn a bit with a pleased blush, Roxas answered, "Noted. I'll have to take the 'almost' out of that statement one of these days."

"Jesus," Axel breathed.

"It's Roxas, actually," the blond smirked. _God, I forgot it __**feels**__ like this…_ Watching the effect he had on Axel, knowing he made another man _hurt_ with desire – it was intoxicating. And it was nice to know that, whatever other fears he might have about changing his sexuality, he didn't need to worry about the sex. He'd had a good teacher from the start, but Roxas thought he should also give himself some credit for being naturally talented. Between the two, he now had a lot of sexual confidence – at least when it came to Axel. And it helped to have _one thing_ he wasn't the least bit nervous about anymore.

On the contrary, he was really very…_eager_.

He was trying to calmly eat his dinner, pretending to ignore Axel's foot on his crotch, or the hot shape of Axel's erection only a few layers of fabric away from his own foot. He was succeeding in _seeming_ calm, but it was taking all his willpower not to let his hands tremble. Axel kept glancing up at him with hot eyes, and he couldn't stop himself from sneaking glances as well, and they'd more or less given up the pretense of conversation now. Roxas didn't trust his voice enough to try talking. He felt like if he opened his mouth for anything other than another bite of food, whatever words he might plan to say would come out as a desperate moan of _"Fuck me. Now."_

He didn't know what Axel was thinking, exactly, but he could see that the man was sweating. The candlelight glistened on the sheen of moisture that made Roxas think of bare bodies and heat and trickling sweat and licking the salty flavor up, trailing his tongue over every gorgeous inch of Axel's body…

Roxas swallowed the rest of his wine and assessed their plates. They were both nearly finished…and he didn't think he could do this anymore.

There was a _clink_ as Axel set down his silverware, overly careful to not just drop it. "Roxas…I can't do this anymore." Green eyes met blue. "Thank you for dinner. It was delicious. And by the way, you're killing me, and you know why?" Axel waited for a moment. Roxas opened his mouth to answer something about erections being only so bearable… _Wait. I want to hear what he says_. He closed his mouth again and shook his head. Axel looked right into his eyes. "Because I'm in love with you. I love you, and all I want is to hold you and show you how I feel about you. I can't stop thinking about it."

Stunned, Roxas couldn't think of anything to say to that. So, after a moment, he just nodded and stood. It broke their intimate contact, but also gave Axel an excellent view of where he'd been touching. Roxas waited until green eyes found their way back to his face. He knew he was smiling and he couldn't stop, he could only try to make it sultry instead of goofily happy. He didn't know if it worked, but at least his voice definitely cooperated, coming out husky with desire, "Well…then maybe you should do something about that." With that invitation, he turned and headed for his room, leaving it up to Axel to follow.

Axel almost knocked his chair over, by the sound of it. Before Roxas made it all the way to his bedroom, he was stopped suddenly by warm, strong arms wrapping around him from behind, pulling him close in a crushing hug, big hands tugging in his hair and running down his body and caressing him and _touching him_… And Roxas turned around in Axel's arms and grabbed him and kissed him painfully hard and dragged him through the bedroom doorway by his shirt, which Roxas tore off him right after that. And then they were both going after each other's clothing with a vengeance, like the fabric had somehow _offended_ them and deserved to _die._

They were much happier when they were both naked. At least, _Roxas_ felt like things were going right for the first time in many weeks, and by Axel's grin and the size of his boner, Roxas guessed his opinion was shared.

Then Axel threw Roxas down on his own bed, and Roxas stopped thinking about anything but Axel and kissing and hands and sweat and _fucking, fucking, fucking_ with Axel above him and inside him and all over him and moaning so hard he was almost _sobbing_ with pleasure, and Roxas did everything he'd said he would and screamed until his lost his voice. Axel's grip was so tight on Roxas' hips as they came that there was no way Roxas wasn't bruised, and he didn't give a shit. He was _happy_. He was the happiest man-fucked, ex-straight guy in the country. _At least._ And it was partially because he'd been waiting to do that with Axel for a _very_ long time, and partially because Axel was kissing over his shoulder sweetly and hugging him close, and partially because now he was _satisfied_, and being satisfied meant he was no longer too distracted by lust to carry on a conversation.

"You…" Roxas' voice cracked and died, and he grinned a big, stupid grin and continued in a dry whisper. "You jerk. You weren't supposed to fuck me that hard the _first_ time."

Between kisses, Axel murmured into his mouth, "Sorry…but…you were…too hot. And…does that mean…we're going to…do it again?"

Roxas had to wait a few minutes until Axel stopped kissing him and moved to nuzzle his neck instead. Then he could whisper again, "Well, I _had_ planned for at least twice…and I was hoping now that I'm your _boyfriend_, you might let me explore some of those…_reserved_ places." He winked at Axel, watching the memory hit the other man. _That time I asked if he ever bottoms…_

Axel's face, already sex-flushed red, went a couple shades darker as he beamed and ducked his head shyly. His voice was a husky whisper in return, lips brushing Roxas' ear, "I'm all yours now, baby. You can have whatever you want. Just say when."

Roxas giggled voicelessly and hugged him. "Well I can't do it _now_, not anymore at least. Can't move at _all_. Need a drink…"

Green eyes went wide as Axel looked up quickly. "Oh, I got that! I'll get it for you, hang on a sec." Then he fumbled and tumbled out of bed, and Roxas bit his lip and smirked as he eyed his boyfriend's pale ass. _Just you wait. I'll get you yet, you sexy little bottom. Just keep jiggling like that. See if I don't leave you sore in a day or two._

Axel disappeared and reappeared with water for them both in large, tall glasses. The drink helped Roxas get his voice back a bit – still hoarse though – and they lay in bed together, chatting happily and easily now that all the tension had been dealt with.

"God damn, I was like…_this close_ to grabbing you and fucking you on the kitchen table," Axel admitted with a sigh and a grin. Roxas returned the smile.

"I was ready to drag you to the floor." He winked. "I'd have gone for the table too, but those are my dishes and I wouldn't want to break any."

Axel snorted. "It would appear, oh lover mine, that _we_ are not cut out for this abstinence thing." He kissed Roxas briefly as the blond hummed in agreement. Then he continued, "Though I am curious to know why we had to find this out the hard way. I could have predicted the difficulty, if you were just curious."

Shrugging one shoulder, Roxas answered, "Well…I wanted a chance to just talk and get to know each other better. But I guess we can do that better with sex in the equation than without it."

"Mmm, _everything_ is better with sex in the equation…" Axel hummed.

"Right," Roxas grinned. "Whatever. Just as long as I know more about you – things that I can share with others in polite conversation – by the time I introduce you to my parents. Speaking of, how does next weekend look for you?"

Rubbing one hand over his face and smiling weakly, Axel answered, "It's free, for you…I can't believe you're serious though. Meeting your parents this soon…when I thought you weren't even ready to tie yourself down to one guy…damn, Roxas."

Combing fingers through damp red hair, Roxas answered, matter-of-fact, "I don't do closets." Then he pecked the tip of Axel's nose before adding, as an afterthought, "And it would have been sooner, actually, but my grandmother's been sick a lot lately, and she was back in the hospital for a few days, and then I didn't want to spring the news on my family until they'd had a chance to recover from that…" He shrugged. "I'd have called you two weeks earlier, if not for that."

Axel looked a little bit dazed. "I'm…sorry about your grandmother." His eyes were half-lidded and fixed on Roxas' lips. "Is she…uh…gonna be okay?"

Roxas almost laughed, reading pretty easily what Axel was really thinking about. "Oh, she's fine," he answered quickly, then pushed his lips onto Axel's and kissed his boyfriend sensually. They kept that up for a bit, and when Roxas finally pulled back he winked at Axel, who was breathing heavily. "Did that help make up for two lost weeks?" He purred.

His boyfriend groaned. "It's a start."

Teasing, Roxas prodded, "A _good_ start?"

Axel grinned, grabbed him, and rolled onto his back, pulling Roxas on top of him. "A _pretty _good start." Then he pecked Roxas' lips. "So what's next?"

Brushing a few stray red hairs away from Axel's face, Roxas smiled coyly. "_Tomorrow_ I'm going to explore my new _boyfriend_ bedroom privileges, but for now…" He winked and let his fingers play over Axel's face, tracing features and tattoos teasingly. "Why don't you tell me about your family?"

And, although Axel called Roxas every kind of tease in the book, they did eventually settle down and get involved in a long, laid-back talk. They talked until they were nodding off, eyes shut and words coming slower, until they finally agreed it was time to sleep and curled up together and dropped off minutes later, warm and content and happy.

~o~

_Epilogue: Have a Nice Trip, See You Next Fall  
><em>

~o~

It was a week later, at Roxas' parents' house over dinner, that Roxas tripped. After several months of pure physical attraction and a few weeks of dating – during which time Roxas found himself thinking Axel was cuter and cuter as he got to know him better – Roxas was absolutely certain that he liked Axel a lot. He knew the feeling wasn't the same as what Axel felt for _him_, but since Axel was happy, Roxas figured it was enough for now.

So they had dates on the weekends, and phone calls during the week even though they were both busy, and Roxas figured out that he could often hang around at Axel's theater with his laptop while the pyrotechnician was setting things up or running through rehearsals, and it gave them more time to see each other, because Axel could come sit with him whenever he had a free minute, and they could talk a little. But really, even if they hadn't been able to talk, it helped just to _see_ Axel during the week and see what he was doing. It made them feel closer, more connected.

By the time dinner with Roxas' parents rolled around, they both knew a lot more about each other than they had just a few weeks ago, plenty of which could be brought up in polite conversation. It helped, because Roxas' parents had lots of questions for Axel in particular – polite and conversational, of course – and they sat around with coffee for quite some time after dinner, still chatting.

Roxas wasn't even paying attention to the questions when he picked up the creamer for his coffee, asking his mom offhand, "Just half and half again?"

"Oh, yeah sorry sweetie. I forgot to get your kind at the store today."

"That's okay." He shrugged it off.

Axel interjected a moment later, "French Vanilla flavored, right?"

His mom was answering, "Yes, his father and I don't like it, and I never have it around anymore, now that he's moved out."

Glancing up, Roxas remembered that detail and remarked to his parents, "Oh yeah, Axel buys the same flavor that I like. What a coincidence, huh?"

His parents were humming their agreement when Axel spoke, a little slowly, "Well…it's not _really_…"

Blinking at his boyfriend, Roxas prodded, "What do you mean? I thought you liked it; you always have it and use it."

To his surprise, Axel ducked his head a bit, a pink flush spreading over his face as he smiled shyly. Roxas was slightly transfixed by how adorable that was. Green eyes glanced over at him, then away. "You actually mentioned it the first time you, um, were over for coffee." _After hooking up with a strange man in a bar and spending the night together, _Roxas' mind supplied promptly. "I only had milk at the time, and you mentioned something about French Vanilla creamer, so I started buying it." He fidgeted with his coffee mug a bit as Roxas tried not to stare…and mostly stared anyway.

Not wanting to say anything in front of his parents, Roxas hesitantly asked, "What, just wanted to try it?" _Has to be. We had no plans to see each other again, not at first. _Easy answer.

Axel just shrugged and nodded, "Yeah, I guess." That ended the conversation, but Roxas wasn't fooled. There was something evasive in Axel's expression, in the way he looked away when he said it. Roxas frowned – he knew Axel well enough, at least, to see through _that_. But the conversation moved on to other things, for a few minutes, so he dropped it – at least, until his mother went to get something from the kitchen and then called a question to his father, who got up and joined her so as not to yell the answer back. This left him alone with Axel for the briefest moment, and Roxas didn't hesitate to ask what had been on his mind.

His voice was a quick whisper. "Did you buy the creamer for me? Before you even knew if you'd ever see me again?"

Ducking his head, Axel flushed even darker than before. "I really…_really_ hoped I would…" Green eyes glanced up to meet Roxas' for just a moment – a moment that confirmed everything Roxas couldn't quite believe.

And in that moment of shock, Roxas tripped over _Axel_ – over the guy he was and the way he loved – and he fell for him. All the confused denials and disbeliefs in his mind faded into silence, replaced by one solid, bright certainty. _Oh. My God. I love him._

"You dork…" He breathed, and then his parents were back and dinner and coffee were continuing. Axel smiled shyly at him and then had to answer another pleasant question, but Roxas was, for the moment, not listening to the chat. He was running that last thought through his mind, checking it over and feeling it out – finding it real and solid and completely undeniable. _I do. I love him. I __**love**__ him. Wow._

With no way of expressing the feeling at this moment, Roxas did the only thing he could do – he reached out under the table and took Axel's hand and squeezed it, and when his boyfriend shot him a surprised sidelong look, he just smiled and went on holding Axel's hand.

He didn't get a chance to tell him that night, because after dinner it was late, and they couldn't spend the night together because Axel had work early. And Roxas didn't want to just say it and then say goodbye. So he bit his tongue and kissed Axel _very_ hard when they parted ways, and forced himself to wait until their next date, when he knew they'd have time.

Choosing his moment carefully, he waited until they were alone, cozy in Axel's apartment, cuddling on the couch. Then – "You know what?"

"Hmmm?"

"I fell in love with you last weekend."

Axel pulled back instantly to stare in shock, but Roxas just smiled and nodded. "I did. I love you, Axel. I really love you. Is that…okay?"

It was _very_ okay. Axel hugged him and kissed him and cried, which surprised Roxas a little, and Axel made him swear never to tell anyone he'd cried, and Roxas swore, "Oh fine, I promise. Because I love you." And that just made Axel cry more.

"You big freaking baby."

They laughed, and they made love right there on the couch, comfort and space be damned. Roxas kissed the tears away, and Axel kept trying and to find words to express how he felt about Roxas – and he kept floundering in the middle of the sentence and kissing and touching Roxas more instead.

And in the end, they lay there together, mooning over each other like two idiots, and Axel asked, "We're totally, for-real, in-love lovers now, right?"

Roxas snorted and poked him in the ribs. "Have a little self-confidence, dork. Hard to believe a guy as well-endowed as you can be so insecure."

Axel flushed and smirked at the same time, then admitted, "Yeah…I haven't been this insecure since I was _twelve_. I guess…it just seems too good to be true." His arms squeezed Roxas tighter. "I really love you, you know."

Hoping he wasn't blushing too much himself, Roxas answered, "Well, now the feeling is mutual, so get used to it. This relationship has gotten off to a train-wreck of a start; the sooner we get our shit figured out, the better."

"I dunno," Axel sighed into his hair, "maybe it wasn't easy, but I feel all right about it. I think we're off to a pretty good start, actually."

Roxas looked up, leaned in, and kissed his lover. "All right," he conceded with a grin, "if you say so."

And that settled it.

~o~

_The Stopping-Point_

~o~

**Note to readers!** Hey guys! If you read this because you're into Axel and Roxas and that's pretty much it, well...thanks! I hope you liked it! :D But if you _also_ wonder if this Kurosora1984 lady has anything else to entertain you, and if you are even a little interested in _other_ guys getting their sexy romance on, check out my current original story on FP! Links in my profile! Thank you, dears! :D


End file.
